help

i’m very sad, half  the time i don’t even know why. I feel like it’s the things i do or the things i’ve done, also that maybe it’s my parents. I want to try hard at everything  i do but i feel like i’m incapable of doing well. People say mean stuff about me, about my hair, the way i dress, my personality, everything about me basically. I feel like no one can understand me, no one gets what i feel inside. I’ve been like this for almost 3 years, i’ve been trying so hard to fight back my urge to commit suicide, even though i have tried in the past. i cry every night i’m alone, i have no one, no one understands me i wish that things could be better. I wish i wasn’t made feel insecure by anyone but lets face it, that can’r happen. I know i’ve made mistakes in my life i mean who hasn’t. i’m just sick of life , i wake up everyday feeling horrible, dreading everyday that goes by. I always bottle up everything people say about me. I take insults because i feel they are the truth, that what everybody thinks about me is true. I have this worthless, empty feeling inside of me. This isn’t my whole entire reason for my suicidal thoughts just an inlook on it. I need someone, the people i ask for help of think it’s just stupid and choose not to help me. Please someone help me. It would really mean a lot.