New here, and I don’t know why, I just thought I’d share my last thoughts. I’m a 33 year old male with serious mental health problems. I am a husband and a father, but that doesn’t factor into my decision somehow. I’m going to kill myself. I have all the equipment to hand for a quiet death. Fuck it! I can’t be bothered to say anything else apart from FUCK THE WORLD! And if you have anything negative or “oh that’s so selfish” to say don’t bother. I repeat DON’T BOTHER! I’ll be dead in an hour.
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I wish you peace!
With all due respect ….you are a fucking father…..you have a moral obligation to your children that had no choice in being born….If your kids aren’t old enough to care for themselves then its not fair….I hope you at least have a life insurance plan that includes suicide……..However, in the end it is your decision and I don’t know the full scope of your situation so I hope you find the peace and comfort that you seek.
It happens..
Not sure why I’m writing this..but there you go
It happens..
Not sure why I’m writing this..but there you go
Ugh.. I keep double tapping!!
I too am a parent. I have not posted yet because I haven’t figured this site out. I stumbled upon it looking for an easy way out. Actually was searching how many pills would be enough to do the trick. My kids are old enough to care for themselves and all I will say is I wish you peace…. now I am off to figure this site out… looking for some answers..
I walked out to the garage 3 times today with my .45 to put myself down but failed. I envy you, good luck,Brother.
What in your life is mostly making you the saddest?
I don’t know what to say! I’m in phase two now and soon will be dead or by some sort of miracle, be alive. The negative comments don’t help. They just drive me. So you people who write the bad stuff. You are just fueling this. Go to sleep on that! Why are you here anyway? I know why I am, and I can only see one reason to be. Bye and have a nice life to the posters who are either supportive or sympathetic. And to those who I told to stay away who are negative. I hope you get I’ll like me then you may not be so goddamn mouthy and opinionated.
Everything is making me sad. Even the good things. Because I know even that won’t last.
i know this might sound silly but maybe u should hurry up and find some funny vid or somethign to watch that will distract you from your thoughts for a little bit so you can get a little bit of a break from what it is bothering you so much
thats what i have had to do lately
I wish I had a .45. Can’t have it in england. I envy you brother.
Dont do it
think about your children knowing that you are dead crying and huging your dead body
how do they feel loking that you are ok and in the next day seing you dead
Try to talk with your family look for help
Dont loss to se your childrent graduate, geting maried see your future grandkids
you want to loss that? Dose beutifull moments that are waithing for you
Worked in the past, iamsara198. But not anymore. Thanks, but I have possibly now gone beyond the point of return.
i know what its like to have alot of mental problems i even feel like a nut case on a suicide project
Do us a favor and come back and tell us how you’re doing if you are still alive tomorrow.
an i know how it feels to feel like nothing can help u feel beter even kids
is there anything that makes you happy in life i mean really happy
… I wasn’t being negative if you took offense to my comments I apologize. Would you care sharing why you feel this way?…..I wasn’t trying to accuse you of being selfish but I just want you to think of your kids thats all…..
You have to keep on your children need you
being alone when you feel suicidal is worst thing you can do i have noticed over the years maybe you should just go hug your wife and talk to her to distract yourself a while
(tho i know how hard it is to do when you just want to be alone and die)
Idk man, i don’t think that reminding you of your responsibility to your children is “negative.” I also disagree with your implication that being opinionated and outspoken is wrong.
After all, isn’t that what you’re doing? Declaring you’re going to kill yourself, and then demanding that only people who would be your cheerleaders should post, but not anyone who might urge you to reconsider?
Honestly, as much as anyone else, i realize it’s not about anyone else. It’s about you, and whatever it is you’re going through, that you can’t see any other way out of the resultant suffering it causes you.
It’s kind of depressing, to me, to think of how other people who seemingly have so much of what i probably never will, still don’t think it’s worth fighting for, or still can’t find a way to keep it together and keep going, for the sake of what is worth living for and protecting.
On the other hand, i agree with PainNlife: your kids didn’t choose to be born, and without you around to fight to help them develop into stable and capable individuals, their lives might never become “theirs.” It’s possible that this one action could almost literally ruin their lives. I don’t know that it will, and it’s not about guilt. Your reproductive material was voluntarily combined with another person’s, and you created life. It would be wrong to abandon that, without being sure you’ve done all you can, to ensure those lives will have the best possible chance to reach a better life than you’ve apparently had.
But you know… if you just can’t take it anymore, then that’s just that, and hopefully someone will help those you leave behind, to absorb and recover from the loss. You can only care what happens to them while you’re alive to care at all, so if you’ve already made peace with that, then i guess “good luck.” Go easy.
Will do, RealTalk30. iamsara198, inside I’m dead, nothing makes me happy. Not even my music, and that’s always sorted my thoughts out. Honestly I am starting to feel real drowsy now, and I may not be able to reply soon, but if I do survive it will be a miracle because I’ve done my research. I’m sorry to put this on you. You wouldn’t believe what Iv’e been through, some bad stuff.
See you tomorrow
My childreen dont need meee
think about your childreen the day wen they were born your wife, maybe you pas through a lot of stuff but your family needs you
you have been throught that all alone but it is time to end it and be ok
yes they do
maybe they dont demostrate it a lot but they love you
plz dnt do it i know you wont believe me i would never have believed it if someone had told me i would feel happy again cuz i was depressed so many years but for now im very happy even thoug hi t hink i am the ugliest person on the planet. For me i know what was making me unhappy.. lonliness, the way i look to myself
“your children don’t need you” …..If they are underage and don’t have a trust fund then they need you
i havae been through some really bad things to most pple would think i was leing abt some of the things i have put up with
i know there is a time when you have your darkest hour and maybe if you make it out of this one you can think a little diffently (even if its not much) after u make it thru
I can only dream of being a father.. There isn’t even a point to me and I still fight to keep what I have going and fulfilling my life.
being a mother is the only think that kept me going in all the p ain i was in for so many years but there comes a time where you feel u just cant go on anymore like that
an probably being a father is what kept you going on as long as you have
its been an hour i really hope you are ok
It’s a bit late now as I have done it and Iv’e researched the ld50 of the tabs, doubled it then added a bottle of rum. I am a bit gutted that my last words will be to you rather than my kids, no offense intended. Some of you have been so kind and I thank you. Maybe you’ll see me tomorrow, maybe you won’t. In all due respect I hope you don’t. And you probably won’t. They don’t need a dad who is never out and about with them because of his illness. They don’t need a dad who is only there in the morning to say hello. I’m no good and someone else could do much better. Sorry to disappoint you skeptics but this is real and I mean it.
Dont do it
they need you
think about them demostrat that ilness that it cant control you fight for your family
do you want to destroy them nowing your dead
Seeing your wife and childreen cry feeling guilty because they wernt able to stop you to say how much day love you
Letting youre wife and children alone your death will kill them emotionly they love you for them you are the best person no one can have your pleace they will never love some one like the love you
if your still there i understand. you feel theres no point and even though youdont want to hurt your loved one the pain your feeling is just too much. hopefully you can see this. good luck.
i hope you get a moment out of ur depression to get up an go call 911
pleace be ok sir. You still need to keep one I know you can get out of there and be happy
Well. For those of you that are wondering, I’m alive. Unwell but alive. It is nothing short of a miracle I’m here, honestly.. I really did my research. Must be a god, who has a plan for me. That’s the only explanation. I hope you’re all well. And thank you for your concern. I think I’m going to be ok for a while.
Good to hear that youre ok
Try to enjoy the sunshine from now on
Or maybe the drugs don’t do exactly what you think, or maybe humans are more resilient than we’re lead to believe (though in other cases, it’s possibly the opposite).
It’s funny how (perceiving) almost dying, changes the way we see and what we value.
I know when I woke up the next morning, surprised to be alive, I looked at things differently for sure.
That happend to me too one night I combine a lot of pills that are legal if a doctor recomend it I felt how my heart was stoping and I was giving almost my last breath. And I faith. I got blank but the next morning I wook up and I felt difrent I felt alive for the first time in a long time.
Oh i’m glad your ok! next time you want to do this (when you feel you cant go on another minute) go find something fun to do like hug ur wife/talk to her play a game with your kids to distract you for a while being alone will only make it worse. Try to figure out what it is that is making you the worst and try to find ways to change it try to figure out anythings that make you feel beter no mater how small the things are and try to do it more
People are not responsible for the processes of life. For the sperm finding the egg, for the nine months of development in the womb, for cell division, for the physicial things that make organic biology possible. For hundreds of thousands of years, parents didn’t raise children, the whole trive raised them, the whole village raised them. You and you alone are not responsible for the fucked-up system that leaves no-one else to properly care for children when their parents die, when you die, whether from cancer, car accidents, murder, or suicide.
If the entire system weren’t already broken, you wouldn’t even be isolated enough to ponder suicide by yourself and all alone.
Find peace with whatever happens.
“people are not responsible for the processes of life”….stop right there…..The sperm comes from where? A mans balls….it travels up the shaft and out the head through ejaculation….how does that happen? because a man decided to put his penis inside a vagina….and decided not to use spermicide or contraception….you can’t fire a gun and claim no responsibility for where the bullet goes…the sperm can’t find the egg until it is given the opportunity…. I agree you aren’t responsible for the system but parents are forever responsible when they create life except in rape cases.
I was the result of a drunken and desperate bunk up! Mum was always pissed (even through the whole 3 trimesters of my development) and dad was desperate. (Still a virgin). The done thing was to marry back in them days. So here I am! And the environment I grew up in was nothing short of a shit pool in hell. Probably why I cannot cope in todays’ civilization. I wasn’t taught anything positive about family life, parental responsibility or how to react to human interaction and criticism. All I saw as a child and adolescent was violence, drug and alcohol abuse and death, (sometimes murder). Now what? I have to try to somehow erase that from my brain, (or put it behind me) and teach myself to be a person all over again. I have progressed though, I’m learning new ways to react to situations and thanks to that, have avoided prison. But life is very difficult if you have to stop, think, and respond in a way that is alien to you. Think of your brain as a computer and the base programming, the stuff that cannot be erased, is being challenged. Who you are is all wrong and doesn’t fit into the rest of the network. (You are a bad machine). It’s the constant challenging that makes you tired and just feel like giving up. But in hindsight I have come a long way, 2 years of CBT helped a lot. And I’m trying so hard to be a new man, and most days I can cope. But I’m afraid my primitive side will always be there wrapped in chains and waiting for the day to break free, not if I can help it though. Fucking hell I’ll stop rambling and talking bollocks, sorry. I wish you all well and happy days.