For about a year now I’ve yearned for suicide and I’ve dealt with my mental insanity, by myself.
But now I’ve met someone with my same problems! We talk about suicide like its not a bad thing, we talk about our hallucinations like everyone has them, we talk about our anorexia like our parents would be proud, and we talk about running away from home like it’s a normal thing to do.
Sometimes I can’t help but feel like she’s bringing me farther off the cliff, other times I think I couldn’t live life without her. She’s convinced me to set a date for us to run away and commit suicide. I’m pretty excited about it to be honest.
I’m very confused about this, so tell me.
Is it better to have someone to fall with?
Or have someone to pick you up?
4 comments
I’m jealous but glad for you. I wish I had someone to talk to about everything and to help me through it.
This is one of those questions that really can’t be answered but everyone strongly believes in their opinion. I think neither is better. It can be good to have someone help you die if you both really want to die because bearing the pain alone is the most difficult thing in the world. Nobody seems to realize that.
But then again, if you’re suicidal because you’re confused and you think that’s what you want, someone can open your eyes and show you that there are things to live for. There are even stories of people saved from suicide who do great things – but not everybody.
Personally, I want neither. I want to die alone and I think it would be cruel for me to force someone to share my pain. But this is due to my particular situation. On the other hand, I know I have nothing to live for so I can’t be picked up.
I hope this helps and I wish you the best.
You die alone….Just like you are born alone ….There is no such thing as “dying together” just like there is no such thing as being born together. Even in the case of twins they may be in the womb together but they are born separately except in the anomaly of conjoined twins….
I would prefer to go alone….It may be comforting to see a human in your last seconds but in the end it is still only you that goes through the death. I also need to add the fact that you need to not commit suicide if another person had to convince you to do it. This choice is not to be influenced either way. You must make that decision SOLELY based on your own judgement. Be perspicacious and logical in your decisions. If you are confused about whether you want to die alone don’t be because even if you commit suicide together you still die alone.
She didn’t convince me to commit suicide, she convinced me to set a certain date for it instead of doing it randomly.
I agree with what the others said but I just wanted to add – if the two of you are “convinced” you need to die then you are both influencing each other, but in the end, you could take the plunge, and she could decide she wants to live. While it is helpful to tell someone how you feel, if they are actively encouraging you to feel this way that is not such a good thing.
If you enjoy talking with this girl, why don’t you arrange to meet up so that you can chill and get to know each other? If this isn’t entirely impossible I’d suggest you try doing so. Maybe you’ll discover you’re both more unsure than you thought. Maybe you can be each other’s support buddy instead of suicide buddy.
Life may not seem like the greatest it can be right now, but you can learn to see the value it has. Would you rather be /nothing/ and experience nothing, or give yourself the chance to realize that there is much more to life than what you currently know.