Hello, I’m portuguese, I’m fourteen years old, and I have pretty much whatever a fourteen-year-old kid would want: I have a PlayStation, a PSP, my own laptop, but I still feel like I have nothing.
My parents had a divorce when I was just eight years old, so my mum is allways saying bad things abou my dad, but on the few times, that my dad calls me, to ask if I want to go lunch with him, he never says anything bad about my mum, and that really makes me angry with my mum.
But I don’t think that it was it that makes me feel frustrated about myself, it’s probably because I wear glasses and braces, and to fuck up the little part of me that still feels happy, I’m a stutterer, and everyone in my class makes fun of me.
I feel like nothing in my life has any meaning or purpose, I can’t understand why I feel this way, I’m at the peak of adolescence, I should probably feel happy, I should probably be going out with my friends, except that: I have on friends.
I spend the whole day in my laptop, playing stupid online games with people I don’t konw, pretending I’m someone fucking else, I have to play stupid games with people I don’t know, because at least those people don’t know me, and because they don’t know me, they can’t make fun of me, besides that, I hate myself for doing that, but it’s the only way I can make the so called “friends”.
I don’t know what to do, my life has no joy, my life sucks, why the fuck was I born a fucking HUMAN ?
If it were up to me, I would have stayed where I was, where wouldn’t think, wouldn’t exist, wouldn’t cry.
I hate these rage moments, I just don’t understand why do people feel happy, we are ALL going to DIE, everything I do, it’s just to pass the time until I die, we are all just waiting to die, so, what’s the point of existing ? It’s like opening a jar, of something that we aren’t going to eat.
What The Fuck Is The Meaning Of My Life ?
Sometimes I like to imagine that I’m happy, but then, the bad feelings come, and I start thinking, why am I imagining something that will never happen ? Why ?
Yes I do smile, and yes, I do laugh sometimes, but moments fly…
Try to do this, close your eyes, now think of a good moment that you had, now open your eyes, Is that moment there ?
Please answer this question for me: Has anything you’ve done, made your life better ?
My answer is: NO
My life sucks, I’m trash, I can’t find happyness in my life, or in anything I do.
I hate everyone, why ? Beacause people are stupid, I’m Stupid.
8 comments
You could have a depression, go see a doctor about your feelings
Yeah. I have good moments.
Usually small things, like eating something that tastes good, or talking to someone you feel comfortable with. It doesn’t always have to be a major thing to be considered good.
It wouldn’t be a bad thing to tell your mom about how you feel. She could help you to see that there are better things to be had.
Olá. Eu não ia comentar hoje no fórum, apenas ler… És mesmo de Portugal? Sou brasileira.
PS: Enfim, o que eu queria dizer antes de fazer log out.. Era que tu precisas ir checar teus sentimentos com um psicólogo. Eu tenho depressão desde os 12 anos e, infelizmente, eu não continuei meu tratamento. Eu deveria estar frequentando o psiquiatra e eu nao estou. E eu estou num abismo agora, na beirada de um abismo, Rissol. Então, se tu tiveres a chance de ir ao psicólogo, é bom que tu vás logo.
Minha famÃlia tem boa situação financeira, e minha mãe nos deu muitas coisas boas. Mas tudo isso é material, coisas materiais. E coisas materiais são fúteis se tu pensares como eu. Então, aja logo e tente cuidar de si, certo?
Eu te desejo um monte de coisas boas;
E eu vivo escrevendo poemas em português por aqui, se quiseres conferes meu perfil que tu vais ler.
Um grande beijo pra ti, fica bem!
Time for google translate. Again.
Sorry, man. I’ve been feeling lazy… I can’t stop writing in portuguese.
Thats ok. Go with the flow.
Yep. When you see me posting in english again, things got 0,01% better. Bye Duque da Marmelada, time to log out (for now).