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Read it if you wanna, it’s kinda long, I’m just ranting :v

by seekinghelp

Writing helps calm me down.
I don’t know why, but it does.
I’m writing right now, because I’m under severe stress.
They’re still fighting as I’m writing this lol

Well guys, let me tell you my story :v
I mean if you bother even to read it haha

Well, my Dad’s a gambler. he lost all the money in the household and now we’re broke. Like BA-ROKE.
My mom’s suicidal. She always tells me how she just wants to stop living and attempted suicide multiples of times infront of me, and my siblings.
Well, me, I’m just a kid going through highschool
I have a little brother who I’m most worried about.
I worry about the trauma my mom and dad gives to us getting to him
My sister’s in college so she’s practically useless dayum ._.

My mom and dad argue mostly because of money.
and they say happiness doesn’t all come from money.. Well, moeny ruined MY family so proved you wrong whoever said that. HAH
oh and my mom and dad say emotionally hurtful things and physically abuse each other.
Of course, trying to stop them, I get hurt in the process too
When i say physically abuse, I mean like WWE dayum. Like they be punching each other in the face and sometimes when things get heated, my mom would pull out a knife like wtf

My mom has mental breakdowns where she drops to the floor, wails, has spasms and stuff
I wanna call the ambulance but that shit cost money you know haha
I plan on calling them but my dad stops me
One time while i was cooking my dad says jokingly “Haha should we just all kill ourselves, like mass suicide?”
WTF LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.YOU DON’T SAY THAT TO YOUR CHILD EVEN IF YOU'[RE JOKING

I don’t bother talking to my friends about it.
All that does is make them feel sad, and pity me.
I don’t bother talking to counselers too because for sure they’re going to send my parents to the mental hospital.
I don’t talk to anyone about it.
Trust me, my parents are crazy and they’re going to the mental hospital if i did

I guess I’m suicidal, I have thoughts about it and attempted it.
BUT I’m too ***** to do it ahah I don’t like pain
WOuld have been easier for me if I just didn;t exist in the first place
Man, existing is tough

Anyways I wrote enough DAYUM
Totes to whoever finished reading this
PEACE OUT
kinda wish i could die now if i was gunna commit anytime later, because i have a test on tuesday haha

8 comments
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8 comments

Now22andahalf 8/19/2013 - 12:50 am

My brother was gambler and I don’t think people realize how big of deal gambling is,He lost his house and everything too

Now22andahalf 8/19/2013 - 12:51 am

Your dad is tight lol
‘we should all just commit sucuide like mass sucuide’
lol sounds like something my brother would say hes a leo lol

Now22andahalf 8/19/2013 - 12:52 am

Im sorry about that and its probably really hard on you,with your mom doing that in front of you…Im sorry ill say a prayer for you

C4 8/19/2013 - 12:54 am

Your parents are fucked up. So what. You’ll be *that parent* when you have kids.
Having babies just means you have working parts, there’s no psychological test beforehand.

s-f-m 8/19/2013 - 12:58 am

.
Hi, seekinghelp.
I can’t write much right now; just wanted to say that I (also) read what you wrote.
I get that you’d be worried about your parents “going to the mental hospital”, but you also have to look out for yourself – that’s just a lot to have to cope with; you should try talking to someone – perhaps a ‘counselor’ (at school) – just to get some stuff out and get some support through all of this; you don’t *have* to tell them about _everything_ that’s going on at home (like the stuff about your mom and dad going ‘WWE’ on each other [although for your safety it may be preferable]) – just reveal what you’re comfortable with — you shouldn’t go through this alone.
Your brother (for one) is really lucky to have you; do get some support to help you cope so that both of you can get through all of this.
Try speaking to your sister as well (?)
Keep writing / talking.
Take care.
I hope you do well on that test.
.

bohomermaid 8/19/2013 - 1:02 am

I feel ya, my mom is a manic depressive bipolar, and my dad has some serious anger issues. They say really fucked up things to me, and I just feel sorry for them. The things they say and the way they treat me really get me down…but I still think there’s hope for me. And I think there’s hope for everyone who comes from a broken home. Keep your chin up, kiddo ๐Ÿ™‚

seekinghelp 8/19/2013 - 1:28 am

@Now22andahalf yeah Gambling’s a big deal. It cost lives of families. My mom gave my dad like 5 chances. 3 times he abandoned us and left home. tight? nah a d0uche-bag haha anyways thx for praying for me, I’ll pray for whatever problems you have too : )

@C4 I’m not ever having children lol for that reason and taking care of children is gunna be a pain in the a s s.

@s-f-m thx ^^ But I’m probably never going to seek for help haha contradicting my ign here..

@bohomermaid yoooo i feel you. I’m going to keep on striving for a hopeful future and I wish you the best too. I’m not going to make my parents problems into who i am.

blindaudio 8/19/2013 - 3:43 pm

Hey,

If you want, you can always email and write all you want. People here will listen too, and care, as you can see.

My email address is: brl.cents@gmail.com

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