I’ll call you next week

I dont know if im more sick of being depressed or the lies. i’m constantly telling friends and family i’m busy this week, but ill call you. Im hanging out with this person or that, but im actually locking myself away in a dark room depressed and not knowing why. why do i lie, why do i feel this bad. my life is not that bad. i read some peoples notes hear and i think i dont even belong here. i dont know where i belong and im so sick of trying to figure it out. im really sick though of the lies i tell. starting with this smile on my face