Right, well I’ve got a weird tree in my backyard. It has a strange single branch on it that’s very thick and just above my eye level. For some reason when I’m out back playing with puppy I always don’t see that giant branch and knock myself in the head (hard). This has happened many times over. I got irrationally pissed with that tree and thought I ought to cut that branch off but I never did, because I’m so fond of trees.
I had been troubling myself over wanting to hang myself (an endevour I keep trying and failing at) but not having a reasonable place inside my house to do it.  I am living with parents and can’t take a chance at breaking something by say, hanging in the closet. I finally started thinking that tree would offer a perfect spot to hang from if somehow I could get away with it in the middle of the night and nobody found me. Is it a sign then- this tree knocking me over and over? Is it a sign I should try killing myself on that tree?
7 comments
I don’t mean to offend, but i find this morbidly humorous.
The idea that your “solution” has been hitting you over the head all this time…
And i know you don’t want to hear (read) this, but you really do seem to have a useful mind, despite the unsolvable problems you endure.
Maybe you have something yet to give, some special contribution yet to make.
Maybe if the branch were higher it would be a sign.
But from a completely different point of view, maybe that trees purpose is to show you that there’s beauty even in the things that piss us the fuck off.
Optimism from Odd.!
Maybe that tree is home to the mighty flaming chicken breed that run in packs by the dozen and chase after other less elite birds
I always look at weird shit like that and think it must be a sign. But then I realize everyone does that to fit their circumstances. There was this woman who was polyamorous (yanno lots of partners) and she found a grouping of 3 cherries on the little cherry stalk thing and was like “Oh look, it’s a sign that my relationship with multiple men is what it should be.” Whereas to me, it would just be a random grouping of cherries and I’d pick it apart and eat it without that thought ever crossing my mind.
So basically what I’m trying to say is if you weren’t suicidal, it’d just be an annoying branch you’d probably cut down. But because you are, you’re imposing that function on the tree. Sorry to take the magic out of it for you, I like to believe in weird things too like that even though logic tells me otherwise.
BUT just focusing on logistics, if you’re hitting your head on it, won’t it be too short to hang yourself from?
“…I should try killing myself on that tree?”
Weird.
I thought the same yesterday; I have an interesting tree at my backyard and a cat died there not that long ago, exatcly under that tree.
This tree situation is like an amazing analogy for my dilemma when it comes to ending my life.
You wanted to cut that branch down, maybe symbolism for wanting to shut the fucking thoughts up in your head that are telling you to end your life. But you can’t because you love trees so much, as do I. In essence, maybe, like me, you would love the courage to kill yourself while simultaneously want to just destroy the parts of your brain/heart/whatever that are telling you to commit the act.
Okay, nevermind, I cannot make this analogy of yours fit my situation in a clear manner BUT thank you for posting. Overall, I do not think it’s a sign you should kill yourself but more that it is a symbol for the struggle lots of us face of wanting to end our sadness so badly and getting close to just ending it while also having doubts that its the right decision. I’m probably projecting. You’re awesome and should write a short story about this tree thing and submit it to literary journals.
I think the tree has just been trying to knock some sense into you. 😉