I don’t know if anyone remembers my last post, titled numb. Basically i explained what happens when i go numb. I cut off all feeling, i am in a haze, it takes so much energy to pull out for 30 min. so i can act okay. But i sink deeper and deeper until i cut, and then i’m fine again. i haven’t cut since March, and I’ve been okay. Until now. I’m starting to fall again, and i don’t know why. The only person i can talk to is my friend Skye, because she the only person i know and trust at my new school. We started high school this year, and it’s hard because only 1 of our friends goes to our new school. and i can trust him i just cant tell him everything. I don’t know why i’m upset, but i started to fall Monday and i’m already close to my breaking point. i’m just confused and scared and i don’t know what to do, because i refuse to cut again. it just can’t happen.
2 comments
Talking does help. Spill it to Skye. I didn’t really have my old friends at high school so I eventually broke down and dropped out. It was bad but I couldn’t do anything else.
As a teenager I thought my world will fall apart with every little problem I came across. I reacted like a child to a grown ups problem. Everything was too much… so overwhelming… I actually thought I can go on with my life, when my first boyfriend left me, when I got in a fight with my parents, when my dog died, when I got teased by my school mates ect. ect. ect…. everything was soooo dramatic.
But then I learnd to become numb. That is a good thing. It helps you survive in this world.
Im considered a grown up now, but nothing really changed except I am numb, when problems hit me. I dont let myself get overwhelmed with feelings. Being numb is protecting yourself.