Just a little bit broken. Or maybe a lot

An ideia is to look for professional help. My medicines helped me a lot, cause while i’m medicated i feel able to help myself.

You’re not small, you’re not weak. But you won’t believe me if you can’t see it by yourself.

Ok.
Just my opinion: to have a mental illness isn’t different than a heart, liver, any other illness. Once i had assumed that for myself, and asked for help, my life is progressively getting better, i’m slowly feeling that i can reach pleasure and sense of meaning. But that’s me, just telling the way that seems to work in my case.

Since you decided not to take any medicine, there’s another thing i do sometimes just for have some peace of mind: meditation. I’ve learned some techniques in the past, i’ll write the one i like the most here:

I lay down, back on the ground, arms along the body. Start to pay attention in my body and in my breathing. While i’m slowly breathing, i’m paying attention in a different part of my body. for instance, i always begin with my foot and every time i exale i try to let it be more relaxed. Same to the whole body, eyes, mouth, everything. This first part has the objective to achieve whole relaxation.

Than, the second part, tha is more difficult and requires some pratice. After you feel relaxed, you start to pay attention about what you’re thinking. And that’s the big deal. Every time you start to think about something, try not to link it with another thought. It’s too easy just to keep thinking all the time, and you’ll have to learn to stop thinking. Feel that your mind is empty. You’ll think about another things, thought you emerge in your mind. “See” them, but don’t link. Let them go, don’t fight against, just let the thought end and focus agains on an empty mind. Focus your attention in your body, in what you’re feeling, in what’s happening around you, noise, wind, anything, but just know that things are happening, without “mindsay” anything about it.

It’s an exercise, needs some pratice. But after sometime it makes me sleep better, and I often use this technique to stop thinking when i’m in an endless chain of suffering thoughts.

Some things might help… really quiet music… praticing in groups, while one is standing and saying the things i wrote.

Hope it might help you. And, i’m sorry to insist on this, but don’t be afraid or ashaimed of medicines. It can be really uselful.

apatico.