Am I too young to end it?

I’m an 18 year old male adult. I had a great child hood, was well off, had loving parents and family.Fast forward to today and our lucrative family business was destroyed by my uncle by over spending and not paying taxes. So we have like no money now and we have to sell our house. Now that I graduated High School I went to community college which dropped out of because I couldn’t do it. It’s not that I’m stupid it’s just that I’m not disciplined enough to study and read. Like I made an A+ in an English essay, but it fucking took forever for me to write and cant really see my self pulling that shit for 6 years to get a doctorate let alone a bachelors. I don’t want to take adderall because it not natural for the brain to always have dopamine coursing through its blood vessels. So I looked at all the jobs I could get without a college degree and they all demand way too much for the salaries that suck, they are also things that are just so mundane and boring. I understand a job is a job and is not meant to be fun, but for me it’s not worth it to have a shit job just to have a house, car, and family just to be “normal” and conform to a materialistic society in which no one really cares about you unless you have money or free things to offer to them. I honestly don’t see how people can have a passion for the same job for 30 years and work as a mindless component for a company that’s only interest it to really squeeze the most it can out of you while paying you a shit salary. It’s honestly not worth it to me. I have passions for things, but once it’s involved in a job it’s really not the same anymore. I like gardening, but I’m not going to work at homepdot for 8 dollars an hour selling flowers to stupid people. I love building computers, but I’m not going to work at an assembly line for dell at 10 dollars an hour in a factory lit by florescent bulbs all my life. I love my family, but I really don’t want a family of my own, trust me I really don’t. I’m attracted to girls and not boys, but my friend of 8 years started doing things with me a couple of months ago. He’s kissed me on the lips a couple of times saying he’s just “joking”. He smiles when I play with his hair. He’s asked me to cuddle with him and I do. One time we cuddled in his bed and we fell asleep holding each other and woke up the next morning still holding each other. I do these things because it just feels so natural only with him. It’s an out of world experience.  I guess it’s cause we’ve been best friends for 8 years and we trust each other so much. I’d honestly prefer him over any of the other girls I’ve dated in the past. But recently I asked if he had any sort of feelings for me and he thought I was accusing him of being gay and got offend and said I was confused and he just flat out stopped talking to me. I don’t know why he took it that way, losing him hurt so much. He was really my only true friend. It really hurt alot. It’s been like two months since we stopped talking. Nothing really matters to me anymore. I don’t want to live life. Iv’e had these thought of suicide for about a year. Mainly from the thought of having to work jobs to live 70 years of an unhappy life I still have to live that I really don’t want. Losing my best friend made it even worse and trust me I’m not going to find anyone else like him. It took me 8 years to build what I had with him, most of it while we were kids. Something I can’t do anymore cause I’m an adult. I’m a nihilist and have no value for life and recognize our existence is not significant  and we really have no purpose. It angers me that people think that we were put here for a reason. People are just stupid. People try to protect the earth by doing stupid things like recycling or driving electric cars, but if we really cared about the earth we would eradicate ourselves and let the earth rebuild on it’s own. I just don’t want to live on a planet anymore that has no purpose filled with materialistic idiots. I don’t want to have to work for a company to be part of a materialistic society. I don’t see what purpose people find in life. Either they are complete idiots to think they have a significant purpose or I’m just fucked up in the head. I think if even won the lottery I’d still want to kill my self.  The only difference is that I would use my money to corrupt a doctor into giving me Demerol and administering me a lethal dose so I can just die peacefully. I really just don’t want to wake up anymore. I’ve been feeling like this for a year. I think I might just end it in a couple of years if I feel the same.