i am 32 and intelligent and have accomplished allot ,i am very happy i exercise regularly and take natural vitamins and minerals and iodine, i fix and install ac/furnaces and make pretty good money, i got a great family which i love, im decent looking and got a descent size wang , i haven’t felt better in my whole life. i am mentally physically emotionally and spiritually improving always and right now i am at my A game, i should want to live right? i think if you want to die because sadness or personal events or something petty ,i think that’s crap, time mostly heals all wounds or maybe scabs it up enough to go through with life , i have been through some shit, horribly abused kid and homeless and addicted to drugs as a teen , and then took some meds for my prostate in late 20s which messed me up worse than all the drugs i have done times 1000, and i naturally healed my self and now i feel great, but i still feel like i was never meant to be alive. i am bored with life, women, entertainment ,people, in this age of money in politics and corruption because of it, all the way up to the federal reserve privately owned by international bankers( he who owns the money controls the power ) ,and our civil liberties and constitutional rights being taken away slowly ,patriot act , freedom of information act and ,ndaa, . and our drones over seas killing innocent women and children, whatever happened to a fair trial, and all atrocities across the globe make me sick, but doesn’t affect my overall mental state , i still feel great as a whole person constantly trying to better myself in all ways, but i just feel like life is to repetitive and to much work , getting up every day having to go to work , get home watch something funny ,laugh , go exercise, go buy food and necessities ,now im poor go back to work again , maybe get laid , get bored with woman or sick of her , go look for different woman ,smoke a joint every now and then, get tired of getting high take a 5 month break from smoking ,go smoke again, play video game get bored buy another have fun ,get bored , now im learning to play guitar , get good , get bored, find new hobby ,and go back to work again, blah blah blah rinse and repeat ,
i also know how im gone kill my self too, i don’t want to give the idea to anyone else who might kill themselves for petty reasons don’t want that karma on my soul, but its painless quick and you just fall asleep , i fear my family wont understand but i will leave a big ole goodbye letter explaining the best i can, i think its selfish of them wanting to keep someone around that thinks life is torture ,that’s just rude!!! 🙂
I have learned to walk in love the best I can ,and treat others like they are you in another life, but some people are just way too beyond love , pedophiles, rapists, murderers of the innocent, I know I would never do that crap in any life so they should be put down like rabid animal, I have also learned the body is a temple what you put in has a direct result of what you get out of it so start taking natural minerals and vitamins. and iodine & magnesium, our food is lacking these nutrients because of modern farming techniques ,and research what is in the food you eat you will be surprised what FDA allows, they are corrupt  , and exercise often 30 min sweating daily to get all toxins out and make you feel great, try too meditate on  your actions and words and try to better yourself in all situations, and try to grow spiritually find what religion you can, this world and universe is too complex too simply just exist. god farted us out 🙂 and always try to add humor to your day. and question everything especially from our government and main stream media , how many times can you be lied too before you just don’t trust them anymore. and be a leader not a follower and do your own research on all these things and more. bless you I hope this helps you on your journey, If you do all of these things for 5 years minimum and you are happy and healthy and still want to die ……Then go for it!!! no one should tell you to stick around and be miserable with the rest of humanity.
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and if you are going through a hard time now, it may not seem like it but it will eventually get better , and also express your feelings calmly and politely to your friends and loved ones for support, its good to have some one in your corner , I think I am going to tell my close family this thanksgiving what I am preparing to do and why, so they have a little heads up before I go, I know how they will take it, but it will at least give them some insight as to why. I am no longer affected by guilt trips from others if I am doing nothing wrong.nice try grandma:). they might think its a cowards way out if your going through tough times and so do I , but I am not going through tough times , I have lead a full and rich life , it might be a little short for modern times but back a thousand years I would be considered pretty old .
A little pretentious but a sentiment I can understand. So. Why now?
didn’t mean to come of as self important or im all that because im not ,just view my self with a positive mind and would like to see others take the steps to better themselves and the people they love the world would be a better place, but im coming to a fork in the road, time to move out of the house i share with my father and my brother, and either stay here in Missouri and do ac/furnace repair work or move away and do that else where, i have thirty days to decide , and i have kept this choice of suicide at bay by staying mindlessly entertained with tv, movies, video games ,women,porn , just distractions, not truly coming to terms with reality and a important topic that i need to address plus worried over families sadness and anger towards my choice., but im just too damn tired of having to work every day and the daily bullshit of this fucking world i live in . and how repetitive life becomes. and how even as a child i knew i don’t want to be alive constantly having a up hill battle just to survive, i remember as a kid wishing i was a domesticated cat just laying around licking my balls and getting my belly scratched ,and wasn’t expected to do a damn thing, or too simply just not exist anywhere in any realm , just nothingness true and pure eternal rest. it sounds so great.
and i must ask you the same what do you agree with and why? basically why do you want end it , and are you in happy in life?
If you have ever tried to grow spiritually and found an authentic way to do it, you would have realized that you have no right to kill the body that you proclaim to be your temple. That would just be murder. Then you will be no better than the ones you’ve described as people that need to be put down like rabid animals. You are just confused. What you need is some spanking 😉 and a good therapist to clear the cobwebs that are clouding your judgement.
If the world has the bad people that you’ve listed then it definitely needs good people like you to keep it in balance. I would suggest you read about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and find a cause that you can contribute to in order to satisfy your ‘self-actualization’ needs.
You should be a beacon of love for the people here who are depressed and feel like they want to end their life. You can do that by sharing how you overcome all odds to find success, health and happiness.
Be around, so we’ll see you around! Good day!
Andy. I identify so wonderfully with you, it is frightening. A lot of people on here have tragic lives or legitimate horrible reasons to be depressed. I do not. But I could easily write most of what you have written. Sadly my prose are failing me so late in my sleep cycle but trust that our views mirror each other in the annoyance of daily upkeep of life and how it does not seem worth it. But like you, I have been that way since a child. I remember the exact moment when I realized “is this it?! Really? Life is so hollow”….at ten I felt this and it hasnt changed. But I soldiered on. Until something changed. And now life is not only annoying but torment. I have several reasons why I do not care to fight. And why even just staying in the ring means Ill be pummeled by Tyson strength fists. So in my personal experience with myself and others, annoyance with life…..or even having a horrible life….is not enough for suicide. There has to be a push.
thanks iwill survive for your kind words and i will look into maslows hierarchy, but no shrink for me, and i have and will continue to give a few helping words for the depressed here , wish i had your brain to stay so positive , but killing my temple which should of never existed in the first place is just righting a cosmic wrong. and you are too kind. be blessed
fortunear its good to hear im not alone , but i think this saving up money and looking for a new place and possibly moving to a new state is just the catalyst for me to ask ,is it time yet? but i will wait a few weeks more, i shall not be too hasty , because there are no refunds for this trip, if i see a glimmer of hope i will stick it out a bit longer , but only delaying the inevitable, but thank you for your words , im glad to hear you are taking a higher and more difficult road.
sorry a higher a more difficult path successfully is what i meant , good night to you all
Yo. I’m tripping face right now
I dunno how to say this other than
I can’t believe any of this. Your story
Has summed up a lot of emotions I have
Been experiencing lately and…it’s just unreal. But so real. Phuuuck
I agree with most of this, minus the ‘god’ and ‘being bored of women’ parts.
Neither of those things will ever be true for me.
But the rest seems close enough.
Everything in this universe has a “bell curve”.
Take life….
we are born (start of the bell curve),
We grow up (physically, mentally, etc.) The “line” on the chart begins to rise.
We reach our peak in life (somewhere, at some point, physically, emotionally, socially too maybe, etc.)
We keep getting older (might still have good things going on, maybe not). The “line” now starts to fall on the graph.
We continue to age more, our health (mental or otherwise), now really starts to fail…
We die. (the end of the “bell”.
I know you can picture this in your mind, you know what I’m doing here…
Bottom line = we all have our peak, somewhere, for some of us, it comes VERY early, maybe even as a kid, then the rest of life is a constant downhill process, until the end.
You ever hear of “late bloomers”? They have a hard life, most of their life, they reach their peak late, but eventually they too “complete the bell”.
If you want a clearer example…
Consider the Roman empire, hell, consider the USA.
Everything, everyone has their “peak” in their lifespan.
So, I would say your post here…..
You have experienced your “peak (obviously), now you are on the “way down”.
maybe you could try getting your mind off yourself and try helping others. sounds like you have good knowledge on how to heal the body, get yourself feeling good. i just started iodine and am not doong to good with it, detox. make a goal, dream. you need change. i live in missouri and it sucks, move! find something you love and do it! if you have something youre psyched about getting up and doing everyday, then maybe the everyday BS you wont even notice cause toull be thinking about your hobby. i agree about the BS of daily upkeep. its a sham. were born into slavery, working doing something we hate just to maintain a human body is a lie. really what is the purpose of living? all i can see is that you can, in this form, to create soemthing new and make things better, instead of destroying things. we need more people to help hold up the good. youre healthy, that is a gift, use it. i wish i had a painless way to just fall asleep. and i have tried what you are talking about for over 3 years and still feel like total crap. iodine, about 15 suppluments, working out etc. doesnt work for everyone and by the time it does for me ill be old. i really dont feel like some people should be here. i HAD a dream but have been unable to acheive it in this form, my body fails me. so ive finally given up.