Daily i wish i could find a way to kill myself. Tired of this life. You trust people with all your heart and they end up back stabbing you. You lose hope from humanity. There is nothing that can give you hopes to survive. I have put all my heart my life on a person. fought with my parents ignored my friends and at the end now i am left here all alone. I cant explain to people what happened and why. He still comes to me to say he cares but he likes someone else. tricky.. i get hopes and and then next minute it is broken. He says he will continue staying with me and then go and spend time with her. Tired of this double life. I understand the person i like is wrong but my heart cannot  give up on him rather it has agreed to give up on my life.
2 comments
my friend gave me the best advice, ‘take care of yourself first, then all of the negative in your life will wither’ the things that are truly good for you will stay when you are healthy, when you’re unhealthy, you attract vultures.
I went through a time in my life where I was a bit too trusting of people…I wouldn’t make them earn it…instead I trusted them because I assumed they were trustworthy….you have to learn how to determine who to trust and what you trust them with because even when you trust someone you don’t tell them everything….
As far as finding hope to survive…you have to create that for yourself but keep it reasonable so that you don’t find yourself hoping for things that aren’t real and things that are highly unlikely to happen…
Never turn on family and ignore friends for relationships with others… That guy clearly wasn’t worth half of what you thought he was… And now not only was he not worth it but he also likes another girl….so your next step should be to gradually repair those damaged relationships with those that are willing to hear you out and forgive you…. You have to accept that some people may not forgive you and eventually they will but it will take a longer time….once you do that you’ll at least have most of your friends and family back…
You say your heart doesn’t want to give up on him…have you asked yourself why your heart would choose an unworthy man over yourself? Why does he deserve the love that you have for him? Clearly
didn’t earn it …you have to cut him off completely cold turkey no contact at all… Get rid of everything that reminds you of him and then burn it….go get your hair done….go to the spa…..buy some nice make up….a great dress….go to the club, bar, somewhere fancy etc etc….and have a good tome and you’ll probably meet a nice guy somewhere…but fuck this joker you are considering ending your life over….don’t ever let another person be your reason for suicide….I understand you want him to suffer but I mean how long do you think he will cry over you before banging that other chick?….probably until his cock gets hard then he’ll fuck her 2days after your funeral…that is to say…he will move on basically…the best thing you can do is drop that guy and like the above commenter said….take care of you….