The new year has been hard on me… I lost my girlfriend I picked up right here on this exact website… She left me after finally realising what kind of a horrible man I am..
After the year of happyness I lived, I realised that maybe there simply is no way out for me. I hate myself for ruining my chances on happyness, I hate myself for what I’ve done to the people around me.
I have friends, but I don’t know if I can trust them with this information without losing them.
I’ve always been an outsider, I listen to the kind of music the devil wouldn’t agree too, I feel like an outcast slowly losing all the little things keeping me in this realm of existance…
Maybe I’m just not made for this earth, maybe I’m just meant to be dead..
I need a shoulder to cry on , that’s a fact..
I really want to slit my throat.. I want to die, living is just not meant for me I guess…
The last thing keeping me here is my music.. Maybe I should just forsake everything and live in music and music alone..
(I’m sorry for any spelling mistakes, I’m belgian and speak dutch natively, english is just a side language)
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2 comments
hey,how old are you? can it all be this bad, yeah you lost love and hell seems here in earth, but atleast you get the chance to experience all these emotions this crazy rollacoaster,the life we know is gone, but change is one of the hardest things to due, so dont be discouraged other them accepting of what life has instore for us. im a girl ,19, never had a boyfriend not cause im not pretty ,i am i just never let someone love me, i dont know what real or fake,i’m alone and i know it,but im willing to change and that must count for something you know.
so here it is new years, and i couldnt have a care in the world… few drinks and all these faces i still rather be alone.
i wish i knew the cure to the sadness but music all i came up with since commiting suicide has control over me. music takes me away
I’m about 18 years old, I know you’ll probably do the whole ‘you’re still so young life is full of hope’ speach. But if I believed in that, I wouldn’t really be here now would I 🙁
You’re quite right, change is the hardest thing in life, and I feel beyond the point where I can handle hard things in life.. I’ll hold on for now I guess, new year is a difficult period of time for me since it’s like I’m in a replay of last year where I finally crashed down around this period (new years eve being an important step in it..)
You deserve a good man hun, beauty is something very relative. From what I know (and I only ever had one girlfriend) beauty is more about who you are and how you behave then how you actually look. I know it sounds very cliché, but it’s something worth thinking about 🙂