Hi everybody
Some of you may be wondering what I’m talking about when I say my regulator came today. It’ll be used as part of my method. Since we’re not allowed to talk about methods here, that’s as far as I’ll go. A heavy piece of kit though. No wonder it was so expensive.
I’m afraid I won’t be seeing much of 2014. I’m 42. Haven’t worked in years. I’m cuckoo for want of a better word. I’m not overly fond of the labels the head doctors used to stick on me. But cuckoo……I like. And as for that “Fuck People” post and pic I saw posted here earlier, I can certainly relate. It’s a zoo out there. A zoo I no longer want to be a part of anymore.
Hopefully the rest of my ‘gear’ won’t be long in getting here. I’ve been suicidal before but always had to fight this survival instinct we all talk about. But I’m no longer afraid. I attempted not long ago. A similar method to the one I plan. I cut a few corners to save money, thinking it wouldn’t make much difference…….but it did. There was no survival instinct to fight this time though. I just sat there until all went black. Unfortunately for me, I woke up again some time later but as I said, I cut a few corners. I know where I went wrong. Lesson learned.
Happy New Year everyone. I hope it’s a good one for each and every one of you. It certainly will be for me.
17 comments
why would you worry about saving money if you really wanted to end it?
Because I didn’t have enough money at the time. Saving money while on welfare isn’t easy.
Eddie – I would like to know more about your method. Do they allow private messages on here?
I honestly have no idea if they allow private messages on here as I only registered today.
ok, thought you might of just had a credit card or similar,
have you really given up all hope?
I have. I feel sad about it at times but then I think, “Won’t it be good to finally stop thinking and feeling?” The answer for me is a wholehearted yes. It’s been a long time since I had a credit card. The last time I had a credit card, I ran up a £7000 debt on the damned thing! After that I thought, “Never again!”
Thanks. I just looked around and there doesn’t appear to be a PM feature. I won’t ask any further questions since we’re not supposed to openly discuss methods on here.
The fact that you still come to a site like this and detail what you’re doing and ordering and planning to do means you’re hoping something or someone is gonna come along to change your mind.
That’s quite a leap for you to make considering we’ve never met. I’m not here to have my mind changed. I’m alone. All my family are dead. I’ve no friends. No wife. No kids. No one will miss me. I barely go out anymore. I just want this written down I suppose. Once I’m gone I’m gone. What will I leave behind? Not much. But I’ll leave behind this post and maybe a few others. That’ll have to do me.
I’m not trying to speak for Eddie (I don’t know the guy), but some people just want to document what they’re feeling and what they’re going through. Doesn’t mean they’re going to (or even want to) change their minds.
There was a reporter named Martin Manley who killed himself back in August on his 60th birthday. He meticulously planned out his own suicide, and started getting everything together a year and a half in advance. He kept an website/blog of sorts starting in January 2012, but didn’t make it active until the day he killed himself. He talked about his life and why he was choosing suicide, and why at age 60. He had been married and divorced twice, but had no children. His mind was made up. He would die by suicide on his 60th birthday, and the words he published on that site were basically his legacy.
I know how you feel…… right now I just have mom.
wife would like to see me dead,,,, she gets it all (since mom wouldn’t live long past me going).
But, I stay and fight, at least for now.
Maybe you should to.
After all, you really dont know if it will end your pain…… what if there is more after this life? and it isnt so pretty as we think?
Consider that, really.
I’ve been coming across some of your comments on other threads. I read the one about you being with your wife for 17 years. I feel for you, I really do.
And good for you for staying and fighting. I’m firmly of the opinion that we should all stand and fight for as long as we feel able. I did for quite a while. Hit a few people along the way. Has to be done every now and then unfortunately. But now I feel well and truly done. Like I’ve no more fight left in me.
You’re right though, none of us really know what comes after death. Maybe I will be cursed to eternal damnation in the fiery depths of Hell. I just don’t think it likely.
Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs?
Jack flew over the cuckoos nest?
It is a silly word, huh. I like it too. Reminds me of the little wooden owl that lives in a clock and comes out at the top of the hour to announce it is whatever o’clock.
Cuckoo.
It reminds me of my french teacher in secondary school. This French teacher was Scottish by the way with a very thick Scottish accent so we learnt French with a Scottish twist.
We called her ‘Haggis’ of course, although not to her face. She’d always catch me day dreaming in class. “Are you off in cuckoo-land again are ya?” Just the way the Scots pronounce cuckoo makes me grin and think of her everytime. She was old but damn she had a magnificent pair of breasts. lol.
Y’all could email each other if you would like to talk privately about anything.. Just sayin 😉
Hehehe. Breasts are truly a thing of magic & wonder when you’re an adolescent, huh? It doesn’t matter if they’re attached to a 60 year old or not.
Scottish, eh? I just found out yesterday there’s a company that makes kilts for construction workers and/or any working man. Imagine wearing something that accommodates a tool belt yet still let’s you feel the breeze. I’m hoping 2014 is the year where the kewl kidz all start wearing kilts.
If you want a private conversation check the thread info, it has all the e-mails listed on the left of anyone that commented. Not sure but only the person that started the thread may see them I beleive.