34 years old

“Get yourself a mate, it helps. Share life with someone good, not the kind of piece of shit I had for 17 years. It matters.”

Ever heard the phrase “beggars can’t be choosers?”

Women don’t want depressed men. Why should they?

Sure, they might miss out on someone special, who happens to be depressed… but i think it’s perhaps primarily the stigma of depression itself, that makes them keep a safe distance… or even create enough distance so that they don’t have to acknowledge your existence ever again; it hurts to think about depressed people, and to honestly consider all the reasons people might be legitimately depressed.

Most of them want someone who is already happy, successful, and full of love for themselves, while projecting a false image of selflessness to the rest of the world. And they definitely don’t want to be deeply attached to someone they have to worry might kill themselves. People tend to not want to get to know those they don’t expect to be around much longer.

But hey, maybe you’ll get lucky and find someone willing to compromise her own “standards,” in order to give you a chance to earn her favor.

@WIG: i wasn’t trying to… well, i’m not sure how to take your response. I agree with some of it, maybe all of it.

It’s infuriating to have to deal with people who only see “their” truth, when it blatantly contradicts what is *actually* true (THE truth). We can’t really know 100% of the entire objective truth, but there are things we can know, things we cannot know, things we can deduce, and things we can only reasonably speculate.

And it sucks when people “choose to believe” something other than what is actually true, despite all the evidence to suggest it should be accepted as a very likely true possibility. Like you mentioned, them choosing to deny that their choices/behaviors/actions caused you extreme detriment. I’ve been there, but with different parameters/circumstances, and i know how that feels.

I also agree that “finding a mate” tends to make people feel much better… but as i was saying: “beggars can’t be choosers.” Some of us have to just take whatever we can get, because that’s all that’s available to us; it’s either that, or nothing. Some of us take “that” over “nothing,” and end up with what you had: the wrong thing.

But think back and consider how your life would have been different, if during that entire 14+ years, you were simply alone, because there was no one able and/or willing to participate in such mutual endeavors with you.

Do you think that would be “better?” To be alone and unwanted? For 14+ years? Or do you think maybe sometimes it’s better to have “the wrong thing,” instead of “nothing at all?”