My name is Jeffery Eager. I’m a 24 year old who is tired of life. I have no friends what so ever. In fact, I’ve never had any real friends in life. I live in a crappy apartment that is a total mess. Life is getting so worthless at this point it’s hard to see myself going on for much longer. the only one who cares about me is my mother, who knows I’m suffering daily so I know she will understand my decision. I’m obviously still conflicted, that is why I’m here. Can anyone give me a reason to keep living my worthless life?
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Hi jeffery. I cant really give you a reason to stay. I just had to reply tho because we are about the same age. Finding “something worthy” in your life to keep you here only works if its what you want. Im a mom of 2 beautiful girls. I am engaged to a man i have loved for six years. I have a house in a good neighborhood. By all means i guess i have a “good” life and “reason” to live. That is according to society tho. I wake up everyday and see that i never wanted children this young. The man i love doesnt love me back. I hate my home. My “perfect” life has fallen apart because i found reason to live reason to stay but it was someone elses definition. For me all the sacrifices i have made to get here have just tied me up even more. The only advice i can give you is if you want a reason to stay look within yourself. Really look tho. Is there something you have a passion for? Reading, writing, art, even just being out alone with nature? Find just one thing you love no matter how stupid it may seem to others and make that a starting point. I see your mother is trying to help you amd thats awesome. Enlist her in helping you find your inner desires as i know how difficult it can be to see anything good about ourselves. I cant tell you it gets better. I know thats a lie. But trying doesnt hurt. And dont feel bad if you cant find anything. We were all born to die. Thats how i see it. The fact remains that you are seeking a reason and maybe that little hope you have could very well be your reason. Whatever you decide let it be your decision and be at peace with it. Living with inner turmoil as you know hurts in a way only those who have experienced it understand.
Thank you for the comment. Most people know what it’s like to have friends who genuinely care about them in life. They call you and ask you how you are doing or ask you to go out and do something fun. I’ve never experienced that before. 🙁 Life sucks so much!!!
Think hard about why you haven’t committed suicide; the fact that you haven’t means that somewhere deep down you believe that there is something that motivates you to want to live, even if that something seems very remote. Try as hard as you can to find that motivation. For the moment let go of the pain. The problem with prolonged pain (as I well know) is that after a while, ‘the mask becomes the face’. That is to say, you live so long in a certain condition, that it begins to seem that this is simply ‘how life is’, as though it were a law of nature.
If you read most of the posts here, they reflect this. How to get out of it is the trick (and no easy task). But the first step, as always, is recognition of the real problem.
I’ll give you an example: many people post, ‘I’m not worthy of happiness, etc’. They don’t really mean that (in the great majority of cases). What they’re really doing is creating a protection mechanism, a kind of psychological armor: if you’re really not worthy of happiness, then it’s easier to accept your misery, because you don’t deserve happiness; if, on the other hand, you are worthy of happiness, then it’s a lot harder to accept the misery.
Please don’t think I’m preaching: I wouldn’t be on this board if I weren’t going though serious pain myself.