I sit here and wonder…

Why.. Everything changed March 28, 2010. You died and took a large piece of my heart. Now I wonder why it wasn’t me. You were too good to everyone. Always cheerful and happy. Had a beautiful baby daughter. All she wanted to have was her daddy home. It wasn’t your fault, but its killed us all since. You were the one for me to talk to. The one that kept my head up through even the littlest of problems. You knew how to keep a smile on my face. I’m so proud to call you my brother. I don’t care how long it will take for me to one day be with you. I know one day it WILL happen. I think about you all the time just wondering what it would be like if you was still here today. Protecting me and the rest of our siblings. If nothing ever happened. If everything was just back to normal and like it used to be. Things are so tough anymore. Sometimes hard to think. I still cry every time i look at your picture, hear your name, or have even the slightest thought about you. Maybe one day she’ll get to see how amazing you are and what a great daddy you would be. Growing u so fast. She looks so much like you its not even funny. My little niece. She reminds me so much of you just by looking into her eyes. Has that bright blonde hair just like you did. It just all happened so fast, ya know? 12 days after my birthday i found out my only older brother was dead. I didn’t want to believe it. I just wanted to think they were playing a game on me. It couldn’t have happened. It had to all be a dream. I still think I’m in one big dream and your still here. I remember it all like it was yesterday. Playing xbox with my little brother then suddenly grandma coming back and telling us she needed to talk to us in the living room. That sad look on her face like she was going to cry. She hardly ever cries. I knew instantly something was wrong. I woke up with the feeling in my gut that something just wasn’t right. We sat down on the couch and she knelt down in front of us. Her exact words to us were.. ” guys I didn’t want to tell you but you need to know, your brother is dead.” My heart stopped and I broke. It was like nothing before. I cried.. all day.. all night, thinking this can’t be true. Listening to the songs we used to sing together too all day. I didn’t want to go to school the next day but I knew I had to be strong for you. I miss you so much bubby! R.I.P LCPL Randy M. Heck. Gone but never forgotten. Fallen Marine. SEMPER FI<3 Fly high soldier! May 24, 1989 – march 28, 2010