Will I ever be happy again?

I know it is selfish for me to be jealous of my family and friends that are dating their boyfriends or girlfriends. I just can’t help it. Ever since I fell for you and you decided to rip my heart out I just can’t stand seeing others happy. I mean sure I am really happy for them because I care about them, but I just don’t understand why I’m not happy like them. They have everything going for them and a man or lady on there side. Oh man, how I wish to kiss a boy. I haven’t in so long. I just want to be cuddled with and I want someone to take the time out of there busy schedule to think about me and want to see me and hang out. I’m not saying anything about missing sex with a guy. I mean sure I do, but I have waited for 20 years to have sex and I just had my first time with a complete asshole. I think i can manage to wait for the right guy and control my hormones. I just want to be loved. And it’s never going to happen, because I can’t get out of this slump. I just want to be happy again like I used to be. i was never completely happy though. I always had low confidence and self esteem. i was always shy around others. I just have really reached rock bottom and I don’t know what to do anymore.