Change

Things have changed for the better, I can’t believe that things really do “get better”. That saying has always been bs to me, I never believed that things could just one day be better and the suicidal feelings would fade. Ever since having a mental breakdown and coming so close to suicide, my eyes have opened. It’s barely been a week and things are a whole lot clearer. Things only begin to change when you realize they can. I know most of the time it feels like everything bad possible just happens to us, but most of the time it’s the way we handle the situations life throws at us. It’s easy to sit and cry about everything, it is a lot harder to breathe and exhale the negativity. That’s why we’re all here, because we don’t handle things well. I’m not saying suicide isn’t still on my mind, i’m not emotionally healed yet. This is a scary time, all though everyones situations are completely different, we are all suicidal. Whether you are 40 or a 17 year old, we are all in the same place, and that place is scary. What’s working for me is i’ve decided to keep myself occupied. I’ve actually decided to get out of bed and go to school for once. I look at the sky a whole lot more and i suggest everyone does the same. When you can see how big this world is it is easier to understand that there is so much more out there to be happy about then to be upset about. Think of the things left in your life that are enjoyable to you. Read a book about someone else’s life, or read “101 Places to Get Fucked Up Before You Die” and visit one of those places before you take your own life away. Go to a concert and enjoy music, go on a nature walk, go skiing, do something, anything that takes your mind off of what makes you hate yourself so much, it’s seriously working for me and I know it can help anyone else. Screw whatever prevents your happiness.