Today

I fell apart today leaving work…
It was a bad day and it left me feeling hollow inside when I walked out the door and you weren’t there to hug me and tell me that everything would be okay. I’ve met some good people, and someone our story has saved some of them…but I still don’t understand why you have to be gone forever. It just isn’t fair. I know life isn’t usually fair…but this is just such a cruel fate that I don’t know if I’ll ever completely heal, especially not when every little thing rips the wounds right open again. Having all the craziness with your parents lawyer over probate doesn’t help either. I just want it all to be over. I don’t want to think about you being dead, I wish I could think about you and when we were happy and not have it remind me that I’ll never hear your voice again or feel your hand in mine again. It’s just not right. I want you to hold our daughter and smile at me because you know how much it means to me.