When you want nothing more than to be dead, but you can’t bring yourself to commit suicide, and have to live day after day of misery, I believe that this is torture. Trivial compared to “real” torture, but still torture nonetheless.
Torture is defined for many magnitudes, but only the sufferers of the absolute worst kinds of torture receive any sympathy in this world. As another example, one-time victims of rape are often stigmatized, and the pain they suffer is dismissed as marginal. But if the victim was kidnapped and raped over a long period of time, she gains near-universal sympathy.
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“wanting to be dead but not wanting to kill yourself”, this is an example of victim mentality, in which a person fantasizes about death but has no intention to kill oneself. Suicidal ideation is much more prominent and very different than suicidal intentions. Having the pseudo desire to die while also possessing the basic will to live and not acting on either is a conscious decision in which a person willfully inflicts this “torture” on themselves. Make up your mind, get busy dying or get busy living, living on the fence in between these two is entirely your choice, being “tortured” like this is your doing, don’t pity yourself for it. You’re making the conscious choice not to die, but also making the conscious choice not to live. The consequence of these contradicting choices is entirely on your doing which is why you and you alone are suffering from them. Don’t whine about being in pain when you’re doing this to yourself.
That being said, I’m very much in the same position, although I do believe I’m cooperating with my will to live and am being insignificantly productive, but productive nonetheless.
I’ve live with a disfigured face, organ damage and mental retardation. Every living second of this is torture and hell. God damn anyone who would subject someone to this kind of life. My parents have no sympathy both being mentally ill, religious fanatics, and selfish to the core. Society has no sympathy if you are not attractive enough and I am not attractive enough. All I want is death which I cannot obtain without anyone getting me supplies. Society, who never wanted me to be part of their world, and who despises me,and humiliates me, nevertheless will not allow me the supplies to end my life. You can be tortured more than anybody else in the world, but if you are ugly no one will care and they will even said you deserve it. Same things with animals nobody gives a damn about how much they torture animals. This planet needs to be destroyed.
Wow, both amazing comments by Stendarr’s ***** and Rach. You guys rock-on. I don’t know who either of you are, but damn…I think I love you both and tick tock is amazing for posting.
“Same things with animals nobody gives a damn about how much they torture animals. ”
Lot’s of people do give a damn about this. Though, sometimes it feels so futile ;(.