Damnit. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I let myself hope and think that it’s going to be ok? How do other people handle it? How do they just move on from people, how do they keep breathing and living and laughing? I need serious help, because it’s clear that I’m not getting better. And I don’t know what to do. I’m scared.
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I know exactly what you mean, missing someone terribly and desperately yearning for their presence can literally make it hard to breathe. I don’t agree that the first steps to getting over a person is trying to tear them completely out of your life, shredding their photos, burning everything they gave to you and trying to pretend they were never in your life, because that’s not true. If they were an important, precious person I think they should have a place in your memory and thoughts, they just shouldn’t be what your mind and life revolves around. I think the first step is letting it out first: the betrayal, the disappointment, the misery of their departure, everything. Cry it out, scream it out, take up boxing and kick the shit out of a middle class, heterosexual, white guy who actually thinks golf is a good sport and likes Peyton Manning.
When someone very important to you leaves your life, I don’t think you ever really get completely over it. As long as their absence does not devastate you to the point where you can’t function, I think that’s a good place to be in terms of being over someone. You can do it, forgive yourself, forgive the other person and realize that there are an incredible amount of people in the world, some of which may be just as comforting and wonderful as the person you’re missing and maybe even better. Not saying that they could substitute for them, as every relationship (platonic or any variation) is different and a different flavor of love and care. Don’t dwell on what has happened but think of the possibilities of the future that can unfold and the actions you must take for some of those scenarios to happen
Hey Wiltedrose!! Haven’t spoken to you in awhile now. We are in a similar boat you and I. I ask myself the same question every single day. Why do I do this to myself? I obviously know that it is hurting me but I keep doing it. Because I can’t let go I can’t idk why I try but deep down in my heart I don’t. It hurts it kills me inside, slowly eating away at me. Just recently I realized the reason why is because I am deep down a romantic. I can be in a dark hole and if I so much as think i see a glimmer I will convince myself that there is hope that maybe things can work out. Its so hard extremely hard (it shouldn’t be considering all the shit ive gone through) to accept defeat accept that it wasn’t right. I’m scared to truly accept it afraid that if i accept it if i truly let go then everything else will go with it. My psych told me that my letting go issues pertained to being abandoned as a child, sometimes that makes sense. I don’t know what the case maybe for you. Just know that your not alone I too share a similar pain.
Chances are you might never have really known that person to begin with.
I was married 14 years to a filthy whore.
Cry over something of value instead.
Move on.
^^^ Exactly what Stendarrs said. (Sorry I opt out for the B word in your name, I feel I would disrespect you by saying it).
@WIG
Get a life you lower-than-scum sack of horse shit, don’t taint people with your presence and jealousy that someone had a happy relationship and you don’t any more. Probably never will with your shitty attitude and horrid personality. How about YOU stop crying that you made a bad decision and married someone who could only put up with your crap for so many years, you should be grateful to her for 14, wow. Get out of here.
(sorry OP, didn’t mean to taint this post, will not retaliate if WIG responds)
@Koji
I just wanted to say I really admire you.
What is hypocrisy? When the man obsessed with his ex tells others to “move on”.
Dude, follow your own advice.
Yeah, just move on. Use WIG as an example and never mention your ex-significant-other in any of the comments or postings you make. Just make a clean break and forget about them entirely. Clearly they aren’t worth your time.