Hello, people.
Once again I thought I’d give an update on how am I doing this’ll probably be my last update though, no I’m not taking my life. I’m trying to move on and I don’t think this site rally needs any more of my recovery updates. So how m I doing? Shortly I’m managing and even though I feel like a turd left in the rain at catimes. I’ve got a handle on my mentality again so my mind doesn’t run amock an get me killed. Things haven’t been resolved but I’m picking up on how to manage, surpress or deal with them. Overall, I’ll live. It’s not a happy life for now but it’ll have to do until I fix things.
So where to from here? First order of business is to get my arse outside and have some time for myself. Live and try out new stuff.. Maybe skydiving fighting and dealing with my fear of failure and getting those worth while experiences. Discover myself and what I like. Secondly getting some discipline up in this place. I need to be willing to do crap if I want to manage. Thirdly finish a mobile game project stuff and resign from the team. As awesome as it is, now is not the time or the place. I’m not happy doing it so it’s gotta go. Fourthly I wrap up that University during this year. Fifthly, find a direction and a solid goal in life use previous points as an advantage. And during all this time, get rid o that self loathing me playing a victim and bashing myself will never get me anywhere.
So that is what’s going to happen. It is gona be like a barefooted dance on broken glass but i’ll make it. Why? Because of this site, you people. Writing here meant a lot in clearing the air around me but it also taught me and gave perspective. When I thought about what to write, i faced my issues. When I browsed the site I learned that my problems are minor and people have survived much worse. So I will survive too. Because of all of this. Thank you people, from the bottom of my heart.
Good luck to you all too and thanks again.
Tommi, aka Bloodboil
if you ever feel that you need to vent to someone toss me a message
bldboil@gmail.com
Thanks, cheers and onwards!
2 comments
Good for you for moving forward with your life and gaining a new perspective. I wish things were that simple for me, however…
Hey scar. While I’d love to say it is all simple and easy it isn’t. For me the exit from this loop of depression started showing up around the time I made my first post here. With that post I started thinking, about what can I change in myself or my environment to move forward. From that I moved to breaking my past apart, examining what I do and why. What I have done, what I’d like to do and why. It wasn’t smooth sailing, I broke and cried I felt like giving up and ending but i didn’t and so. It led me to this. I’m not saying or claiming that this is the approach you should take or the one that “will fix you right up”. What I’m trying to say is that try to find your way of looking and coping with the pain and shadows of your life. Find approach that fits your persona, your life. The important thing is, don’t give up and keep on going despite all the hardships.
Stay strong and carry on