Rinse, wash, repeat.

About 3 years ago, when I was still in highschool, I asked my mother: “So my whole life
is gonna consist out of studying, working, and then finally death?” She just said yes…
Before that day, I tried to off myself, who knows how many times. I have social anxiety,
depression, all sorts. I don’t like medication cause it makes me feel like crap. I’m 19
and I started college this year. I don’t have a girlfriend, nor a lot of friends,
and about a week ago, I came to a conclusion after all this fucking time.
Nobody can help me with this.
I am literally complaining about something that other people could never help me with.

What I’m saying is, although we have a totally different problem, we almost have the
same solution. We should help ourselves.
Here’s the thing, you are locking yourself in your own cage. Your job doesn’t have to be
your life. Your life doesn’t have to be so monotonous so suicide is to complicated to
do, because its too much planning and work for you to stray too far from what you’re
used to. You are saying that its too repetitive and yet you are putting yourself in that
position where you’d rather not change it right now, or you think you cant.
I don’t know you and I can never really know you or your problems in life but
right now, I wanna say that I speak for both of us, when I say, get the fuck up, fix it.
I might not have the experience to tell you all this, but its just my opinion.
I just registered here and I find that no one is absolutely direct here. And its not
that I think its bad, but considering how serious it can be, I mind as well say it like
I think it is. And what would be the point if I didn’t. You did post this and it takes
something most people don’t have these days and it would be nice to keep it alive
as long as possible.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna follow my own suggestion.
Good “you”, spacedude nik! Because luck is something that happens randomly and you
can happen whenever you choose to.