i don’t think it’s gonna get better

Im 25 and so lonely. I don’t have a job or many friends. I’ve never had a boyfriend or even been on a date. I sincerely think I’m super ugly. The last time someone told me I was pretty was on Myspace. So that was a long time ago. I’m chunky, have big feet, broad shoulders, and have dark skin where there shouldn’t be. I’ve tried lots of things to try to lighten it, but nothing had worked. I can’t wear low cut tops or short shorts. I don’t even feel like girl. I feel like this big disgusting monster. I honestly don’t think any guy would find me attractive. I can’t go on knowing that I won’t ever find love. I have such a sense of hopelessness. I sometimes have spurts of positive thoughts, then I look in the mirror and am reminded of how repulsive I am. I’ve been suicidal since fourth grade. I don’t see my life getting any better