Im not going to say when i will or hw i will all im going to say is that it will soon happen and im getting to the edge and want to tke the final step off.
I am an 18 year old who has aspergers syndrome. meaning that if anyone didnt like me or they were getting annoyed with me they would simply say go take your pill or stupid **** or dickhead. to me they are not as harsh as what my family has been saying to me for years.
since i was 7 my mother has never said any complements to me for doing well, just critisisms. if i did well on an exam she would say why didnt you get an A and then gnull me down to a fine tip and compare me to my older sister. i have had a riduculously hard life proberbly harder than each of yours. i dont really want to get into it because it hurts to think about it. in secondary school i was bullied, in college i was depressed and sen to a mental clinic and its just occured to me now to join up to this page and write some things on they way i live and what life means to me now.
i hve tried to kill myself twice well i say twice i mean realistically twice none of the slit wrists or ect. 3 years ago i jumped infront of a bus thinking i would die. and i do mean jumped in front of a bus. and once i had recovered i took some pills im not sure what they were bit they had a blue and white shell. i took about 20 of those. and i woke up in hostpital the next day.
i have tried help and i dont trust the psyciatrists or psycologists im recomended to go to all they do is write crap down and tell your schol which does absolutley nothing but put a shrivelled up old lady breathiing down your neck and correcting you on what your writing for an hour so a waste of time  i even went on some ant depressents but they didnt work at all yet i took a full dose as recommended by the dctors and another after but still no effect after about 4 months its only been 3months after i taken it and i still feel like shit. i feel empty inside and i cannot go on
before you comment saying friends or family. i have tried and yeah they cheer me up but im not happy. im not happy
i dont think i even remembered a time i was truley happy… anyways i lost my job 18 mins ago because im not as old as the other staff age discrimination ect bullshit and my dad cant afford food so no meal tonight , well i figured this is my last try to straighten everything out but meh. i dont want to go on living like this still comment what you like . proberbly the usual stuff. go see a doctor, go do this, go do that, useless i cant do this anymore im out maybe i will have the peace i deserve
10 comments
Have you tried praying to Jesus? He loves you talk to him and he will hep you
What do you want to hear then. Tell us and you will know for yourself. You’d really be an idiot if you killed yourself before knowing that. I’m not against suicide. My failed suicide attempt changed my life completely and for the better. Without it I wonder how long I would I kept obsessing about how much I hate living. Not worth living with that state of mind anyhow.
When I woke up after sleeping for three days I thought I was dead, it took me a small while to realise I was still alive. For months afterwards I couldn’t think. I just watched tv and slept. It took many months before things got better. I don’t know if your life is really worth living but mine is, no matter how much I believed it wasn’t.
Whats with all these cultists getting on here and trying covert people? God damn
“Then they called them in again and commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. 19 But Peter and John replied, “Which is right in God’s eyes: to listen to you, or to him? You be the judges! 20 As for us, we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.â€
Acts 4:18
Heres some other insanity in your bible you may not know about.
Exodus 35:2 ? “2 For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day shall be your holy day, a Sabbath of rest to the LORD. Whoever does any work on it must be put to death.”
Psalms 137:8-9 – 8 O Daughter of Babylon, doomed to destruction, happy is he who repays you for what you have done to us 9 he who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.
Leviticus 20:13 ? “If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.”
Hosea 13:16 – “16 The people of Samaria must bear their guilt, because they have rebelled against their God. They will fall by the sword; their little ones will be dashed to the ground, their pregnant women ripped open.”
One neat little quirk, notice how it only talks about man sleeping with man.. Very obviously written by a man. If you truly worship and believe this, youre not moral. Youre an imbecile.
well to be honest my life is a drismall. my mum and dad have no money so im stuck paying the electricity and internet bills, i lost my job *only sorce of income) today and i will proberbly fail my course. but then again as you said its all about your state of mind. however there is no way i can change it based on the current situation im in and the mind i have.
What I mean by that, is it never talks about a woman with a woman. Could it be that your god just digs lesbians? Or maybe its not gods word rather than the word of some horny dude? Lmao
and im not religious. i dont understand how you are close. and isnt the bibe against gay people? but jesus loves me…
Man, you just have to try to think more postively. Things must be extremely hard having a condition like that and I couldnt imagine. But life isnt over, fuck your parents if they treat you like shit. Go out and prove to them that your a man. Finish college, get a job, and support yourself. I can tell youre a good dude, and I promise you that you can do it.
And i know your not religious, that was directed at the cultist.