This might be a trigger to some, so beware
Honestly every time I cut it just gets everywhere. all over my arms, my hands, on the paper I use to smear crude words with the red stuff. it sticks to everything too. yet I can’t seem to bleed enough. I want to bleed more. but every time I cut deep enough to keep a decent flow it hurts like f***….but I still do it. I don’t do it for the pain either.
I think I just associate blood with death…like cutting and bleeding is as close as I’m going to get to death since I really am too cowardly to just OD on all the pills on my bookshelf.
I really need to go to bed I think -_-
2 comments
Pills are very risky. The good ones aren’t available. Combinations are too risky.
I don’t cut, but I have noticed a certain satisfaction in self inflicted pain, whether it be digging deep into a wound or giving myself a shot. I think it releases endorphins. With the shots, I get a rush from the pain that provides relief long before the medication has a chance of doing its stuff.
see, I don’t cut for pain. I never started like many people typically do, for the rush it gives. I never get that rush anyway. I’ll do it for a release of tension, especially when I’m angry, but I mainly started so I could continue to go deeper and deeper until it wont stop bleeding.