It’s Friday
Her alarm goes off at 6:00am…she hits the snooze button. “I do not want to get up today.” She pulls the cover over her face and falls back asleep until 7:00am.
She finally gets the energy to get up out of bed and drags herself into the shower, and begins to get ready for school. As she’s getting ready she occasionally looks out the window – the fog is rolling in and its windy. She sighs deeply inside…”I don’t want to go to school today”. Putting on her make up, she gives up halfway and gets dressed. With the little energy she has, she throws her hair up in a clip.
She walked downstairs and was greeted by her older brother. Just a simple “good morning”. Then her mother comes down asking a thousand questions trying to talk to her before she leaves. She’s not even paying attention to her mother, because its the same speech every morning. “Okay, yes mom, alright, okay, ya, I know, I will…”
With no food in the fridge, and no more snacks to pack – she grabs her bottle of SINK water and leaves the house.
As she walks to the bus stop, she is just extremely overwhelmed from last nights breakdown. She walks with her head down, music loud, and then the thoughts begin.
“I hate this, I hate walking 30 min just to catch the stupid bus. If my mother would have paid the car registration I wouldn’t be walking. Now I have to walk to school for the rest of the semester. Carrying two heavy ass bags, I look ridiculous. This freaking wind…ugh its too cold”
By the time she reaches the bus stop, she’s already in a haze. She just wants to turn around and walk back home. As she sits she’s shaking her legs, restlessly. Watching cars pass by, all new fancy rich cars of course, she thinks, “This is the last time, I can’t do this anymore, I can’t live my life like this anymore. I need my break through, I need my break through!” So frustrated with herself – her life, really – she feels the tears building up.
The bus is coming, so she takes a deep breath, sucks it up, and enters the bus.
On the ride, she wants to distract herself from crying, so she starts looking at the people sitting on the bus. They all look like zombies. No facial expressions on anyones face, its weirdly quiet, too…she looks out the window the rest of the ride.
At school, she puts on a happy face. She has to pass all classes, and in order to do that she plans on faking it until she makes it. No one would guess she’s miserable, but on the inside its ripping her to pieces.
She gets home around 2:00pm. Her mother is laying on the couch, like always. A simple “how was your day” conversation took place, and then she dragged herself upstairs. She put her things away, and layed right down on her bed.
On Fridays, no one calls her. No one texts her. On instagram she sees every ones pictures of them dressed up, out partying, and having fun. She feels even worse now. And accepts the fact that tonight will be lonely, consisting of movies & ghost adventures.
The thoughts start again.
“I don’t have the money to do anything. I don’t have the clothes, I don’t have the friends. I am not in love, I am not lovable. Is it something I’m doing wrong? Is it my fault that I am this way? I don’t even have any food in the house. I don’t want to talk today, I’m turning off my phone. I can’t stand seeing everyone else having the time of their life right now, when I feel like ending mine.”
She takes 3 pills, wraps herself in a blanket, and closes her eyes, hoping to never open them again.
These are my Fridays.
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This is why I love Mondays and hate weekends.
All alone I must be to willow away in my apathy.
No one to talk to. No one to care. Just myself and a lonely bottle.
I stopped looking at everyone else. Stopped looking at the lives revolving around me. Stopped looking at the moving blur and just at my still feet.
I use to hate Mondays, but now I think I like them, too.
Day ___
The alarm goes off at 6:00 am she rolls over and kisses her partner on the cheek, excited to go to the new job she just started on Monday.
God knows she busted her ass to get here.
She sees her children off to school after packing their lunches from the kitchen full of food.
She walks out the door to her car (registration paid) and drives to work while listening to one of her favorite songs.
One of her new coworkers greets her, a simple “good morning†and her boss has a conversation with her about how impressed the company is with her first week.
At the end of the day she heads home to her family who is waiting with the newest movie rental and pizza.
She is home, she is happy, this is YOUR Friday.
I can picture that too
We’re probably somehow related. Except I don’t do smalltalk with my family even. I hate this. I would rather sit in front of my computer, stalking other people and looking how they’re living they lives “young wild n free”. I can’t even look at other people, so how I’m supposed to ever make out with a girl? It sucks. I’m gonna get rich and buy it. Ph.. I’m not the best guy to motivate.
Money can’t buy happiness supposedly. But I think it can.
I hate weekends for the same reason. Usually try yo sleep through them. With you living at home it may be hard to keep nosey parents away though. They always want to know what’s wrong but I always had a hard time talking to mine. They never understood me and why I feel like I do.
My parent is part of the problem and I think she knows it. I try to avoid her most of the time.