really want to die :(

i am 17 & will be 18 in 3 months i have no job,not graduating,extremly insecure,have no friends nd feels like i have no family i need a job more than anything but nobody is hiring me nd that along with everything else is making me ore miserable than i already am i am also bipolar nd serverly depressed i was on medication but i ran out nd my mom wont refill my perscription she acts like she cares infront of pp but really she doesnt because ive been like this my whole life nd im only getting worse nd not once has she acted like a mother nd actually tried talking to me or anything i had a therapist but she said she wasnt paying the fee anymore so its like she just doesnt care nd wants nothing to do with me but she treats my bro nd sis completly different i just dnt get it .i have no friends nd no one to talk to so everything is just bottled up this is my graduating year but i wont be graduating cause i stayed back so im missing out on everything which sucks ……. my “family” is never around so its like what family ?? ive been like this my whole life nd not once has anybody tried to help me nd the way im feeling is pretty obvious ……..like 1 time my sister was using my phone nd accidently seen my notes which were all about suicide nd she didnt even bother saying anything …….i feel sooooooooo ugly all the time like every girl my age has the looks,clothes,nd boys actually give them the time of day but me ? its like im invisible ill be lucky if ppl remeber my name …………well long sad story short i feel like im just taking up space i have nothing going for myself i get NO support from anyone nd its like im not here so why be ? i cry literally everyday i tell myself to be strong cause things will get better but thhings are really just getting worse i honestly feel like i cant take anything anymore its just too much dying runs through my mind everyday i really want to die but im too afraid to kill myself i guess its the pain idk nd i dont want to be another suicide i really dont knw what to to i have no one to turn too nd me waking up every morning is making me really miserable i cant take it everything is just overwhelming 🙁