The blood of my cuts and scars of the future

Yes I am a cutter it’s how I deal with certain major problems a few months ago my life was going great now it’s taken a turn for the wiser my emotions are like a land mine and it dosent take much to trigger them if you don’t know me by now I’m Jason or Day whichever you want to call me is fine. I have been suicidal at a very young age and it’s only gotten worse I have drank so many chemicals in attempts to a true release but all have failed I always end up throwing the chemicals back up i am fully emo I have given up on looking for a better path to take this road leads to many of happiness but the ones I take always lead me back to a similar or worse road. I have been hospitalized 3 times in my life the 2 I’ve gone where for suicide attempts at many times I want to die but I can’t I must go on until life has broken me for that was the path that was seen before me and I have no choice but to follow it