Dont know what to do

That’s good your feeling a bit better, but I know too well how those thoughts can be. Sometimes you feel ok, going smooth then there are times when it can just all flip upside down. But its best to enjoy these little momental of solace, and maybe gain back a little of what we have lost.

I know you leaving may have been in your best interest, but I can understand that you may feel abit of remorse for leaving and have negative feelings towards yourself. You may feel there could have been more you could have done, or you may feel your feelings got the best of you and compromised you your job. But I honestly believe you made the right choice. You knew how degrading your boss, and you deserve to be in a environment where you are treated with respect and dignity. You cannot change the arrogance and ill manner of your boss, but you did take action to change your situation by quitting, and that take courage and a backbone.

Your past experiences of bullying, abuse and even imprisonment may weigh heavily on you even after you have moved on. Though you may not be able to erase the past, pain and insexurtities that may have been brought forth from it, you can still obtain good from these bad experiences. You can learn to be the forgiving, caring and understanding. Treat people with the respect and care you were deprived of and value those who honestly care for you. Your girlfriend sounds like an admirable person to stick with you even though times like these. Even though she may feel lost as what to do to help you, there is no need to resent her. Appreciate that she is still willing to support and care for you even against adversity. Open up and be honest to her. I know you may not want to overwhelm her, but take it piece by piece, so you may not overwhelm yourself as well. Let her know how you are feeling and how things have affected you over time.

Though there may not be a cure to some of our depressions and negative thoughts there are ways to cope, and work around them so they are less sporatic, tamed and we are left open to more opportunities of fulfillment and happiness. It takes time, the road will be tough but the outcome can be worth it. Syrround yourself with the ones who care, get rid of the ones who antagonize you and fight to be content and proud of yourself. I recognize and applied your efforts in obtain an education and finding a field of interest.

But take time to find peace. If you have to get away from everything, even for a while then do so. Let things settle, don’t pressure yourself and utilize your resources of help like your counseling and therapy.

Remember your more than welcome to be open about anything and vent about anything, I will listen and offer my best advice and be willing to be here for you.

So I hope I honestly helped and I wish you all the best.

Hey there David, no to say anything my friend, I just hope my words help you in anyway. And you are correct indeed, I have been through a multitude of problems during the short 20 years of my life, but from what I experienced I hope to help others overcome and be there for them when others have abandoned them. Keep that struggle to maintain peace of mind and regain spirit despite the adversity you may find.

I know you may still feel negative about yourself and may still hold suicidal thoughts, I am happy you will stick around for others. I hope one day that will change and you will stick around for yourself.

Times will be tough and there may be more rough times to come, but do not feel discouraged. If you make the small steps to recovery, maintain hope, there can be better days ahead and I am sure the fight will be well worth it.

As for the new job opportunity; if you feel you will be more comfortable there with an environment that will lesslikely to trigger your PTSD, then go for it. It may be less pay, but I think it is well worth the compromise to obtain an work environment that can nuture your well being.

Well I do hope you enjoy your time with your folks.
If you ever need someone to listen to you or need to talk, feel free to email me anytime. I’m here for you, so I hope to hear from you soon but in the meantime, take care David. Remember, one day at a time.

Mr.kojak1410 @ gmail —- My email