Despite watching everything in my life crumble and dissintigrate into nothing around me, my best friend from home decides to text me out of the blue. After handling her crisis, she says to me, ” You have always been the strongest and most grounded person I have ever known and will ever know.” What she doesn’t know is her text stopped me from inhaling a rather large handful of assorted pills. Her comment…I don’t know if I feel more ashamed for wanted to take my life or if I feel better for knowing that I can keep my fading life under control for other people.
I feel guilty but at the same time, I need the relief. I need some sort of escape. I just want to run and never stop. I don’t want to look behind. Her text was so random. I’m afraid that next time, no one will bother or care when I go to take my life.