I’m numb. I don’t know where to go from where I am right now. My life has never been better, yet it seems to be falling in on itself. I have a supportive family, yet their efforts can’t fix this emptiness. Depression can be remedied. I am detached from this life.
I sleep most of the day, because in my dreams I feel. Once I’m awake I’m dead inside. Nothing is worth the effort when there’s no reward. I know my mind is sick. I have an autoimmune disease against my spirit. I hate myself for being able to see it, yet do nothing about it. When you have no emotions anything that makes you feel human is a gift, so sadness is something I look forward to.
The pressures of life are pushing me to my breaking point. I’m not suicidal, but I do want to die. I just don’t want to be anymore. I fantasize about leaving myself, and maybe coming back some day when I’m better. I don’t know how to fix myself, because I’m completely broken emotionally. I guess I’m passively suicidal, I’m just waiting for death.
I am a ghost
4 comments
I know how you feel, I used to think the same about me.
just an hour ago i rode through the same emotion. These years should be the best of my life but no. Everything is just a grey mist. All i can do is figure what must be done to get food and a roof, do that and in the mean time i just try my best to figure it out. I just want my smile back. Good luck to you!
I don’t know what you go through or what your story is, but i hopw for you that one day it will be good. i know what you mean that you want to leave and fix your self thats what i feel too!
It could simply be the thought that we must be better that destroys ourself. This human society is completely insane… No outer achievement will provide that peace we seek… Because once accomplished, and once the event renders itself in the past. The mind and world says “ok, now what next amazing thing are you going to do?” It’s funny, my dogs seem so content… And the only thing they’ve ever achieved is to condition me to buy them expensive dog food and treats. Just by their being are they loved.