So much hate :(

Everywhere I go people have something horrible to say about me, whether it’s that I’m an idiot / retard / moron / ugly or disgusting… they just never have anything positive to say and lack the empathy or sympathy to understand how much it hurts. I have no chance of survival because is no way for me to escape emotional pain. Some people would laugh at me behind my back or right in my face and say things like “he’s the ugliest person I’ve ever seen” or “he’s a worthless piece of shit” and some things that people have said have really stuck with me and I’ll never trust people again. When I was growing up I used to think that people were inherently good but now I know they’re not and when they’re nice it’s because they want something from you. It’s not my fault that I was born the way I was and that people who should’ve been caring for me attacked me and left me brain damaged. I’ve taken it all my life and I’ve let them take my heart, but i’m a ticking timebomb and if they push me too far I’m taking them with me.