Stuck…

Okay so I’ve been thinking about suicide a lot recently. Actually I was online trying to see what over the counter medicine would be best to overdose with… and then I came upon this site. I figured I might as well talk to you guys on here and see what you think since I can’t talk to anyone that I really know without them wanting to not be around me and trying to avoid me like I have a disease or something. Ok so Im 17, I first tried to kill myself when I was 13 but over dosing on seroquil, obviously it didn’t work since Im still here. I’ve been cutting my self a lot more now then I have then. My legs are covered in scars and Im constantly having to hide them from my family. I dont want to “want” to to kill or hurt myself, its just I feel so lonely all the time. I get extremely nerveous around people and the other teens in my youth group. So while everyone is having fun and joking and chating with each other, im usually just stitting the alone and quite.  I wish they would understand stand how lonly i feel and how much It hurts to always be alone. I’ve pretty much been teased since I’ve been in school, and I guess after 12 years of constantly being teased by other students I eventually started to hate myself too. I dont want to kill myself but keeping everything in all the time and and pretending like everything is okay is only making things worse. I want to talk to somebody but I feel like if I did talk to them, I’d only be a problem to them and thy wouldn’t want to be around me anymore. I dont know what to do. :/ cutting myself doesn’t seem like it helps anymore, actually almost seems like it doesnt even hurt that much anymore.