I wonder if the structure of “modern” psychiatric institutions differed from actuality would we have so much strife… what is normal what is abnormal
would people be stuck in jobs that they hate, in bodies that they hate… equating body to buildings, buildings to religion… once I was a wanderer, coming off of forcefully ingested psychiatric medication, not wishing to pollute the earth with a vehicle I walked across town in 100 degree weather and needed a drink of water. Pressed a button on a church’s intercom to ask if they had a water fountain. They said no. Which is a lie, but Christians aren’t supposed to lie. It’s interesting…
Personally I am often suicidal, there’s a link between suicide and masturbation truthfully. Or I could just be a demented product of child abuse, I am also a self-injurer, this takes form in many ways…
you know “flaws” a.k.a. differences make people beautiful and I truthfully believe that… However I must make an exception to that rule. I know someone who might be very hurt deep down which causes her to be extremely judgmental and a perfectionist. Perfection is rarely attainable, I’d like to tell her. She is a strange case, a sort of reflection of many things wrong with society, importance placed in material possessions… how’s that Madonna song go again?
Anyway I used to scream for someone to just kill me, I was so confused and tired and not understanding my own circumstances. I get tired of who I am, it seems to be too much. I wish I looked different.
I hate the things that seem to be often assumed about me b/c of my skin color and gender.
I just get tired of the world. I am never good enough I can’t learn quick enough.