Everyday at work I come here instead of doing what I should. i love to help people, I really do. I think that we all deserve kindness and patience and love and respect but don’t give it to each other. Life seems shitty.
I’m living with someone who use to be one of my best friends and someone who I thought was my friend. The former BF slept with someone I was sleeping with. It makes me angry yes, but what makes it terrible is that we had a conversation about their desire for each other where I communicated I would be uncomfortable with them sleeping together because there had been situations in the past where the former bf had prioritized sex and tricks over me. He said he wouldn’t do it, that it didn’t matter to him. I offered that if it did need to happen I just need him to talk to me about it and I could figure out how to cope. It happened anyway. Then my friend didn’t tell me. The other party told me.
My world fell apart and i told my roommate that i needed space. he told me he’d give me space and try to keep out of common space. He then proceeded to get drunk and text me a lot about how he is the victim in this situation. I was kind and told him to process with our other friends because I couldn’t support him in this situation. I asked him if he could move out. He said he would not. The third roommate is saying that they are not taking sides and that the situation sucks but they don’t hang out with me anymore. The two of them are getting real close. He then proceeded to make out with the ex partner of another mutual friend.
So many betrayals and somehow I think my heart is still physically together but I feel broken and lost. I was already depressed before all of this. Now it feels like things will never look up. Why can’t i feel safe at home. Why can’t I have people love and respect me in the ways I love and respect them? I want to not internalize this because he clearly has issues but it’s not possible. I feel invisible and lonely and almost dead inside if it weren’t for all of this pain.
6 comments
I’m really sorry that happened to you, and it’s tough to touch this topic because I feel that many people are at a lost for words, at least I was when I first saw this post earlier. I hope you know that people are reading this and they do feel for you, but probably don’t have the right words to say. At least that is how I felt. But I know feeling lonely is incredibly painful, I know you are out there and in pain and suffering and I hope things get better.
Thanks for replying. It does mean a lot to know that folks are reading.
People are selfish and rude. Wasn’t a real friend to begin with. Hard to hear cuz you obviously gave a lot to the relationship. But there were also a lot of red flags the whole time as you said in the post. Time to move on. You’re worth more. You deserve more. Karma will bite them all when they least expect.
Indeed, move on I shall try to do. Part of me hopes karma does exist but it makes me wonder what I’m doing wrong or if this is my karma. Not sure about Karma, you know?
So sorry..This kind of betrayal fucking hurts…we referred to it as “poaching” …people do it with total disregarded,disrespect..Its as bad as cheating with them while you were still fully together.That might sound absurd,but it feels the same way to myself and many people ..made even worse if youve specifically told the friend to please refrain from it.Its Fucked up!!
Why dont you consider Therapeutic Arson..it can do wonders for a wounded soul:)
Sorry to joke-that one always makes me laugh,and my friends,too.