Honestly, whats the point anymore? i hate life, and life hates me, who gives a damn if i go to hell. im already living in it, i can deal with it. And i wouldnt doubt it being better than my own pathetic life. If anyway i wanna go is going to be overdosing, cuz my mom has a big bottle of sleeping pills, and i could easily kill the whole bottle. Cant do a rope, since i dont know how to tie a noose, and i dont know where i could i put the rope, to hold my fat ass. Cutting too deep, i dont think i have sharp enough blades, and knowing my parents would knock on my door, being bitches as they are to me. And jumping…where could i jump off, and how would i get there. I dont want any movie crap, where police and firemen come to the building, saying “oh how i deserve to live” or “it gets better”. no FUCK that, ive been wait since 4th or 3rd grade. Almost 5 years of people saying, “its get better” dont give me that shit! I dont give a damn about myself, im prepared and ready to die. I just need the right date.
-Shae
P.S. Feeling empty is better than feeling worthless,depressed,stupid, ETC.
Reason To Live: I Love You All <3
4 comments
hell is a lie made up to control society and people, there is no afterlife in my opinion, and if there was one, god surely wouldnt judge you for ending your life if its too painful.
Feeling empty does not feel better than feeling depressed, worthless, stupid or any of those things. It feels far worse. It makes you feel dead. It makes crave pain in order to feel alive, to feel something.
If ‘hell’ does exist, you have no idea how much worse it can get.. perhaps this is all like heaven in comparison – you can’t know until you’ve experienced it.
I think you’re rushing things to be honest. It doesn’t seem like you’ve taken a good step from everything and had a good look without that self-depreciating part of you being present.. and I urge you to do so before you try anything rash. What are you – in 8th or 9th grade? You must be floating somewhere between 12 and 14.. you’re still so young and there are so many things you’ve yet to experience.
I won’t say that things get better, but you are young and for better or worse things will undoubtedly change as you will grow older – especially in the coming decade. It would be a great shame for you to say goodbye now because you’re at the point where everything has the potential to change very fast.
Progress may seem slow and ten years may seem like a lot, but hindsight it will be all over like flash and you’ll see how much impact these years will have on the rest of your life because of how much you’ve been able to grow. So choose your actions carefully and try not to let the bad things pull you down because that will undoubtedly be your downfall.
im 14, and honestly i dont care about my life, ive had depression for a long time. SEVERE DEPRESSION. im prepared to it, i couldnt care if i died the most painful death, its better than my life.
Just think on my words for a little while longer (I mean months/years). I have ‘been there done that’ I guess you could say.
Severe depression doesn’t mean much at your age in terms of the rest of your life. You have a chance to shut that door because you’re so young.
See it this way, I’m pretty sure you’re going to fail whatever attempt you currently have planned.. and I’m certain if you pursue this sort of life, you’re going to fail multiple times if you ever succeed. So, saying that, would you rather waste your time trying to kill yourself without experiencing life or would you rather actually spend your time trying to give yourself the best shot to be happy?
It’s not my life, it’s yours.. but I don’t want you to walk down the same path so many of us have chosen to (myself included) – the sooner you try to manage your depression and the sooner you walk away from suicide as an option the better your life is going to be. You can probably ask around for some of the older members on here. It’s not going to do you any good.
You’re better off moving on and trying to change your life’s trajectory right now. I stand firmly by everything I said in my last post.