Well I feel today is the day I end my life. I just got rid of a person out of my life who was there but wasn’t much anymore. I made a promise awhile ago that I wouldn’t do anything to myself. Well I got rid of her out of my life that way she wouldn’t blame herself for this. So I feel it’s time I end it today. Thank you everyone for all the help and support
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She still will blame herself . . . As will others . . . I hope you can find some peace
Well I hope she doesn’t since now she is gone out of my life and I made a video saying no one to blame themselves
So why today ? Can you wait until tomorrow ? Was there a final straw? I do not know your story
I have waited many days and can’t do this anymore. I feel it’s time very soon
Can’t do what anymore ?
Live life
I am not asking that to be ignorant . . . I want to understand where your head and heart are at if you are willing to share ,..
I have given up. I am a fuck up at life and I mess everything up. I am not meant to be here I really am not. I am a failure at everything and with anyone who comes into my life. I am not wanted by anyone and I feel if I was gone I would only be missed for a few days if that and then forgotten.
So you would be missed by a few . . . So you are not a complete fuck up . . . . But sounds like you have put a lot of thought and energy into it
I really am a fuck up. I have no friends or anyone to hang out with or talk to. And the one I did I lost. And yes I have put thought into this. Everyday I come close to getting ready but then I get a sign not to. Well yesterday I never got a sign and it was the worst day in a long time and so far nothing today
And you are on this site, still reaching out . . . .
I guess you could say I am and am not
Here is your sign ** Please dont do it ** . I truly do understand how you feel and so do others on here. You would be missed, very much so. I know you dont feel that way at this moment, but it is true. Being here, on this site, letting others no how you feel , shows that you need and want the compassion, understanding and help you deserve. That is why we are all here. You are not alone.
Thank you that does mean something to me
You are welcome. Things will get better. You just have to tell yourself that and believe it. Eaiser said then done, I know. But not impossible.
I know I am trying but still not sure at this point
Can you think of some ways you can change your situation ? I did that yesterday when I was contemplating hurting myself. It helped change my mindset.
Well right now I am smoking my hookah and that is helping relax me. I know it’s not good thing to do but hey it helps some
Not a bad thing at all. At leaste in my opinion. It is how I got through last night.
What did you do last night?
Self medicated with cannabis. How are you doing ?
Oh nice and ok I guess. I may do what I did last night
What did you do last night ?
Got drunk and smoked hookah
I used to drink but cant now due to meds. Smoking helps though. So have you changed your mind about this being your last day ? I really hope so. I have messed up my life In many ways but think for the most part I can rebuild my life, at least I hope I can. Just have to get my emotional issues under control so I can.
Oh ok. Yea I shouldn’t drink cuz I am not old enough but do. And hang in there man.
And right now I feel ok I guess. You know the feeling I bet where there are still thoughts but will make it through the day
How old are you ? I am glad to hear the thoughts are going away.
I am 20. How old are you?
And the thoughts are still there just trying my best to avoid them
Wow . You are so young to be feeling this way. Im so sorry 🙁 . I am twice as old as you. Have you ever been to a doctor about your depression and suicidal thoughts ?
No sir and how long will be on for 🙁
But hey you still on man?
Yes
How long will you be on
Girl.. not sir.. Are you ok ? How long have you been feeling this way ?
Oh I am sorry about that and depressed a few years. The way I feel now a few weeks/months
Do you have health insurance ? If not you can go to a mental health clinic for free. I have done this in the past. You would be able to talk to a therapist about the things going on in your life and gets meds if needed. It would be worth a try.
I have thought about it
And I don’t know if it’s possible for you to stay on longer but some of it’s coming back and I need to get this out
Okay. I can stay if it helps you. No problem at all.
Well if you can’t it’s fine just feeling/ thinking about it again a little
I will be hear a while if you want to talk.
I think seeing a doctor would really help you alot. I have spent alot of time severely depressed and did not want to go on. Meds and doctors have helped greatly though I still have thoughts and urges. Things can get better .
I feel it’s to late and just so close to giving up. But the only thing right now is I am scared that the girl I tried to get out for my life will blame herself. And I never want to do that to anyone.
Any sorry about last night I crashed pretty much
Either of you on?