I have no one in my life. My best friend, doesn’t make me feel like he gives a shit about me. He doesn’t even talk to me some days, but he talks to other people. It hurts a lot. My family isn’t here for me, they’re all to busy with themselves. My other friends don’t care about anyone other then themselves or their boyfriends/girlfriends. I want someone to come over and sit in my room with me and watch a movie and we can just talk about everything. How I feel, how they feel, what’s going on with our families just anything and everything. Just in the dark with the tv light glowing on our faces, eating buttered popcorn and drinking cokes. To show me that someone actually cares about me. To show that I’m not alone someone actually cares about me. Instead I sit in my room, all alone. Every night. All the time. No one would even want to. My best friend doesn’t even hang out with me.. I just want to leave out. Forever. Not have to remember the memories in my head. Not have to worry about my future. I question if anyone would care if I died. I don’t think that they would. I’ve seriously considered it many of nights. and Wonder why I didn’t do it the next morning. I just don’t know anymore. I just want to leave out.
8 comments
Replace coke with ice cold sparkling lemon and I’m your man. ๐
Hell, I’d love to enjoy a movie in the company of another. But I s’pose being as โalonely” as I am, it’ll never be a dream realised. What’re you going to watch in the meantime, anyway?
Damn, I’d be up for shit like that! ha You say you don’t have anyone, but guess what? There must be someone or some people on here who would be up for an occasion like that. I know I would!! Everyone here is up for a talk, & would listen (in this case read) whatever is on your mind. We all want that comfort and security, we understand how you feel. Just know that you are not alone (: People are oblivious to things like this..I don’t think you should give up now! As for your ‘bestfriend’..not much of a bestfriend if you ask me.
ANYWAYYSSSS..hope you are having a beautiful day/night wherever you’re from. Don’t forget to smile, coz you could just make someones day (:
Ha..i have to watch movies by myself too… T_T
Sounds like you need to replace your best friend..the model you have sounds broken..
And there are people who would miss you even if you aren’t aware of that detail..
A person who I thought was my best friend stabbed me in the back with my worst enemy. ๐
Another platypus stabbed you with a crocodile?
Yeah, I am a paid up member of the ‘best friend betrayed me’ and ‘alonely’ club! Seems to be a pattern here at SP…I’ve been isolating myself since. They say time heals but it’s been four years now and it still hurts tbh. But what I probably need to do (and you too maybe OP) is open myself up to new people and experiences a bit more. I’m starting by getting more involved in voluntary work. Perhaps this could work for you? It’s early days, but I do feel a bit better and more hopeful. Don’t place too much trust in one person would be my advice…there are other good people out there, just gotta find ’em.
Worst damage comes from the ones you love the most, since you are most vulnerable to them. I think it came detailed in my “best friend owners manual” or my “long term relationship girlfriend owners manual”. In there it states that there’s no guarantees for them either, and if they malfunction you must do the maintenance yourself or dispose of them in an enviroment friendly way (since they pollute) as there is no certified repair centers available. Only the “long term relationship girlfriend” has a somewhat sketchy repair center, but they only repair certain models (i think it’s listed as couples therapy) and it’s kinda tricky since you have to make adjustments too in order for it to work.
But seriously, the moment you trust too much in someone, bad things are bound to happen. Been there, done that x1000. Heck, just a couple of days ago a friend of almost 10 years asked me to take the blame in order not to lose his gf (which would make me look like a lying bastard and he knows it, long story), i would have done it a couple of years ago but not anymore. What happened when i refused? he lied without my consent anyways, knowing all the reasons why i was not fine with it. So yeah, you can’t fully trust anyone, even if they buy the popcorn and coke and let you choose the movie.
a person in my boyfriends family said to me online ‘lol hes (boyfriend) destroyed himself’. Then they copied and pasted what i said to my boyfriend but changed a line i said to ‘lol hes got emphysema he will die soon anyway’. I never said that to her, infact i said ‘he has emphysema and its terrible. Its like hes trying to kill himself. I dont know why. It makes me sad’. Also she LEFT OUT what she said about him. And he got angry at me and blamed me. Then i sent him the real conversation and was still angry at me, even though she made the nasty comment.