Scared of everything

So, I’ve never used a site like this… I don’t know if this post will even publish, knowing my luck it won’t and I’ll have got all anxious for nothing. Okay, maybe I should start with the suicide story?

I don’t know what has led to me becoming depressed (or, as my psychiatric nurse calls it “in low mood, because depressed is such a negative word”)  I’ve never suffered any traumatic experiences and I didn’t have a bad childhood. I can’t even pin point the first time I ever felt so low. I can tell you though that each time I hit a low point, it seems to be even worse than the last. On 3/7/2014, I reached the point of not being able to handle how bad the feeling of wanting to die was. I took a handful of anti depressants and then I was all of a sudden terrified to die, the thought of my son finding out what I’d done and visioning him alone destroyed me. I told a friend what I had done, he took me to A&E and from there it was a blur. I still feel like I want to die, and it makes me feel so guilty.

If you have taken the time to read my ridiculous little story then thank you. I’m so scared to post this, I’m not sure I’ve done this properly 🙁