I just.. I feel so empty. Yeah, normally its easy to laugh it off and hide behind a mask, act normal, human even. But right now, when I’m sitting at home and in bed, all of my walls come down. I feel so weak and hopeless- and of course my parents choose this very moment to tell me how worthless I am and how I’ll never amount to anything and how I should have been more like my brother. The worst part? I agree with them.
I’m not anything special; I don’t have any outstanding talents- and trust me on this. I can read people like a book sometimes, see all of their goodness and none of their flaws, but I self reflect more than I judge other people. And I can tell you every single thing I’m bad and or even sort of good at. But nothing makes me special, nothing sets me apart from other people except that I’m terribly useless and worthless. All that’s left to identify me are my fingerprints and my dental records, I suppose. And the trillions of cells in my body working to keep me from dying right this very second… Honestly, if I could have just stopped myself, stopped my heart from beating, I already would have. But I guess I’m too weak to even take the easy way out. Some part of me thinks that if I sit here long enough, maybe things will get better.
But we all know that’s not true, don’t we?
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You just named a great quality without even thinking about it, you see the good in people, when all that shows is the bad.
Tell me, why do you have such low self esteem, I know you said your parents don’t help in the matter, but are their any other reasons why?
I dunno. I was raised in such a way that my classmates, my older brother, and my parents all laughed and made fun of me. I guess it just sort of caught on. I can’t see anything useful in myself.
Well, I don’t believe you don’t have anything useful to offer. I’ve known some truly worthless people, but even they had a reasons for being the way they are. And you don’t strike me as being worthless.
Thanks. But I don’t even have much of a reason for feeling this way. I guess I am just a self-pitying annoying jerk.
Maybe, but at least you have the decency to put your own problems aside for a moment and try and help others.
Thank you, snuffles. :]
hey amaskoflies. please try to fight that low confidence. F@ck anyone who talks you down, and i mean anyone. You are worthwhile, i can tell that just by reading your post. I hope you find some positive friends or a positive environment one day to find happiness in.
Thank you. I hope so too.
i think your a nice person from what you post on here
A lot of us felt like that, including me, im sure. Every single person goes against those feelings and fight against them, and everyone fight in other way. I do homework, repair things, cook or just messing around, but I do never allow my self to sit down cause then I remember my past, my weakness. Its a waY to run away from the past but it keeps me calm. May you try it ? (hoever I dont have talent also I just try to do something even if I mess up the things)