Honestly, was anything I ever said or did good enough? Am I just someone you knew now? Is it because I wasn’t going to coddle you and baby you whenever you had a boo boo? Grow the fuck up. I’m not your mother.
What do you have to do nowadays to get people to stay by your side? Nothing I suppose. Because no one will stay by your side. You reach out for help and people spit on your hand.
All my friends, all my trusted companions, gone now because I obviously wasn’t their ideal person to associate with. The trust circle I have contains 2 people. Sad as fuck.
Cats are better anyway.
End of rant.
10 comments
Good rant. Two people in your circle is a lot. I only have one and he only shows up when I look in the mirror. he’s a smarmy ugly fuck…but all I have at the moment. Yup, people are tough to deal or understand.
Ah geez, well I’m not even a part of my circle haha. I definitely don’t trust myself. Bah…maybe over time we’ll learn to understand people better.
True true-cats are way better than humans.I believe all animals are,myself. Couldnt help but note from the first paragraph of your post: Why are you lamenting whether or not the offending coddle craving titty-baby ,thought you were ever good enough?My dear you clearly express disgust and contempt for the weakness they displayed to you…why the concern over their judgement of you? Next you question why no one stays by your side,or help you when you seek support. Again,I can’t help but note:you clearly express that they needed to be dealt with rather harshley when they were hurting,and were desirous of your support.They should”grow the fuck up” and not expect any comforting “mothering” from you..Are these people spitting on your hand because you drove them out of your life with inability to sympathize and support….Are they gone because you rejected them when they needed you… I’ve really got no idea-my observations are based on these few statements youve made,and nothing more….I hope you can widen your circle of trust,I can see you are suffering . Keep letting out the pain by writing ..it does help.Sometimes we cannot see all that has occured around us because we are so tightly bound up by the perceived wrongs that people have comitted against us..We are so concerned about the betrayal or disloyalty,that we refuse to look at what OUR part in the shitstorm was. These are just a couple things ive had to get with, myself,after making a few messes in relationships( friendships and ,lovers)and feeling all fucked up for way too long. .Blame is easy to use ,and it may help for awhile,but blaming doesnt help us to grow or get better.I used it to justify my destructive hijinx with alcohol and drugs and sex. I hope you feel better soon-this place is ideal for you to meet understanding people for the circle
Actually, I’m not judging their weakness. But I will not baby you over every little thing that upsets you. I’m referring to am ex of mine that would whine and cry every time I wouldn’t talk to him for an hour or so. He would get upset when I needed my hair cut because he liked it long. He would cry and sob only shoulder because I wasn’t giving him attention 24/7. Needless to say I became aggravated and we split because I wasn’t being a mother. It’s one thing to come to me when you’re upset over something and need an ear to listen, but when I become the only one doing the listening and comforting I become tired and fed up. I do not think I’m better then anyone….and I never treated anyone with harshness when they were upset. I was supporting and loyal but I refuse to baby and coddle. I only reject people after I have tried numerous times to make things work. I’m not blaming anyone for my suffering. I never had. I’m not perfect, I know I was wrong many of these situations. But that doesn’t change the fact that I am sick of holding everyone else up, yet when I show weakness I’m left to fend for myself.
I see what you mean,BBG. You are strong enough to cut ties and walk away if the guy is codependant to the point of smothering,and thats a good quality to posess. I have a real hard time letting go. Unfortunately,i LOVE obsessive stalker-ish men,and for obvious reasons it has not turned out very well for me. Anyway, sorry to hypothesize about this recurring issue in your life BUT I wonder what it is thats bringing about this same reaction from those friends in your life–i mean the abandonment in your time of need-like,is there a quality perhaps that you unconsciously are drawn to in people. Perhaps you choose to befriend people whom you can easily dominate,or you can always be the smarter or stronger one…weaker people,emotionally or even mentally. Its not really an unusual thing for some people to seek a type with whom they feel comfortable or even superior to.It allows you to feel in control and not worried that you wont be up to any subject of discussion -and in fact you would be able to feel secure that you could almost always be the smartest one in your friendship. However,the toll you pay for this easier ,softer way is that your friends are not the take- charge -and -be -a -rock- in -your- time- of- crisis -type of friends.And even worse,they may welcome an opportunity to watch you flounder-after all ,theyre completely aware that you have to always be the one in control and who knows it all-they know it,they resent it,but cant do anyth about it.Until you get vulnerable. Then its payback time. Jesus I can whip up a ridiculous socio-psychological scenario like nobodys business,am I right? Rubbish..very likely its total rubbish in regards to your friendships and your life 🙂 but ive seen this dynamic in play before elsewhere,for sure. Oh well,I apologize for the unnecessary digression-I just wish there were some sort of reason or a way to understand why people are often so useless and disappointing. Its maddening. I want to encourage you to keep trying to be a good friend and keep weeding out those who habitually fail you and make you sick.Dont give up. Im so hard headed I often have to go through the pain of a particular lesson repeatedly,and I get pretty banged up.If theres something to be learned here about the kind of people you put trust in or rely on,i hope you learn it and then graduate from this shitty course.Sometimes,too the lesson is just: People are assholes…or.. I hate my life right now,but it cant stay this fd up forever 🙂
I strive for equality, not domination. I’m not a control freak. I want a man in my relationship, not a boy. I need someone who can take care of himself as well as take care of me, and vice versa. I need to be able to take care of myself as well as my significant other. There has to be balance, and everything is always so unbalanced.
Suicide Project needs a thumbs up button, because I just broke mine trying to thumbs up your comment. I completely agree with everything 🙂
My trust circle contains zero people, so you’re ahead of the game. People stay if you don’t need them. Sadly, that’s the truth. Once you start needing people, you become too much of a burden, and they’re gone.
Yeah. Which is why I choose to (as difficult as it is) trust in God and God alone. Not that many people would agree with me.
You are so right. Cats > People. I wonder why – when everyone has a choice to be nice to other people – most decide to do the opposite.