I don’t actually know what to write .. even my tears roll down my face , before I even put my hand on the keyboard .
is it because it’s too painful to be written ? or because I’ll be writting something , people would never pay attention to ?
I’m not a suicidal person , I do not cut myself or had suicide attempts .. I just cry , tears hurt more than any cuts on your wrist .. you know why ? cause the pain may go away when you cut yourself , you either die , or get help … but tears , they don’t wash the pain enough , they just fade away for hours maybe days , then come back .
everything can be fixed in a little while , but the damages happening to me , I would never be able to fix I think … I’m that girl that acts strong all day long , faking a smile , and acting okay , then at night she waits untill everyone falls asleep so she can cry herself to sleep .. and it hurts I swear :'(
I’m glad I finally found a place , where I can put my feelings into words .. Yeah poor little girl , I’ve got no one that cares about how I feel , or how was my day , or am I oay ? … actually no one cares about how many days I spent crying on my pillow , how much pain I go through every single day , the suicidal thoughts I have , whenever I feel bad .. No does , and No one will do :'(