i’m stuck between the floor and the ceiling in my room, surrounded by the ghosts of my past. some say mean things, some are crying and some don’t speak at all. but i can see them. one is standing by the door, blocking my way out. he never speaks. one is lying on the floor dead drunk. one is standing behind me. he split his head so he could whisper to both of my ears.
one is crying in the corner. one is screaming. one is sleeping. one is tearing up my paintings. one is burning up my poems.
none intend to stop.
i go to sleep and i wake up to their screaming and crying sounds. i wake up to the smell of burning paper and whispering of bad prophecies. they hate my girlfriend, because they never had one. they hate me because i got rid of them, because of my new shape.
sometimes they even take over. many times, actually. but only some of them. the crying one never came since i got rid of him. he’s always hiding his face between his legs. so is the screaming one. the others do come.
that goes on and on like a bad mantra and i can’t fucking take it anymore. same shit everyday. same old shitty song and dance.
6 comments
Fuck. I like this.
what do you mean?
Well just tell the ghosts to leave and never come back.
then forgive yourself for the past and forgive others from your past and move on,
do you really see ghosts or are you hallucinating? Iive never seen a ghost in my life but I do believe in the paranormal so I do believe spirirts exist
I have never met anybody who can see ghosts.
any way chase them out with a cross like they do in the movies or call
some kind of pastor and discuss the issue with them and they might be able to do something for you.
Or you might need to move out and find another place to live
start over
move on? how haven’t i thought of that?? thank you!!!
seriously though, you know you can’t just turn your back on your past. no one can. about the seeing ghosts stuff – i don’t really see ghosts nor hallucinating. i feel them. i just think the easiest way to understand that stuff is by writing that i “see” them, because that’s how it feels. crying and screaming in my head, whispering…
moving out won’t change a thing. a cancer patient will have cancer whether he’s in his room or in another country.
You carry the baggage of the past with you, it’s true you may be able to shed some bits but most remain, there’s no real answer. It can be impossible to live with it all and you’ll continue feeling as you do but trying to overcome the past will be hard, some can, some can’t, I expect you’re the later. People will tell you to move on but it’s difficult, taking it day by day with perhaps only a dim flicker of hope to keep you going. Again there’s no real answer, it’s just, is suicide harder than to keep going day by day, most, I expect, would say yes, suicide is harder, which is a shame so all we have is that dim flicker of hope, not much help I expect.
They seem to feed off of your fear of them. Don’t give them that satisfaction. Embrace your demons or else they will continue to haunt you.