I know that one day, you will leave me. I dream of you every night. I used to have normal dreams, but now they turned into the most morbid dreams that you could ever imagine. Why won’t this leave me alone? Why cant this leave me alone. I wake up not knowing what to think. What to think of you. What to think of “my life”. “Our life”. Our poor kids. That’s the only thing that keeps me holding on. That and the fact that I’m to ***** to do it. My whole Family hates me. Cast me off. No friends left, no home left. I have failed everything this life has to offer, and I dot care anymore either. All I think about all day is how much I would love for you to come home to my dead body. What would you think? would you care? probably for the moment but I Know you would move on. And… thats ok. But what about our kids? Sitting here, all alone yet another night. I want to tell you good bye.
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Dear pizzolatoo,
Trust me, i know how you feel. i am a little more fortunate as my kids are all grown up and independent. And killing yourself IS the ***** act. It is the easy way out. Try, i know it is hard, but try to be strong. You cannot do it is not because you are a *****. Doing it is a ***** as it is too easy. Move on and be strong is the brave act. And you are brave cos you are still here. Stay strong for your kids. They are innocent and what would happen to them without you?? If this person has left you and the kids, this person don’t give a crap if you and the kids live or die. Trust me, even if you die right now, say you jump off a building and land right in front of this person. This person would just look at you and like “humm, not a 3 point landing, not good enough!!” And you want to kill yourself, sacrifice your kids, for someone who, not only don’t care, does not actually have a heart? Is it worth it? Do not give those who betray you, who cast you out the satisfaction. Listen to me. This was what i used to think when i had that thought of ending my life and stop myself: LIVE FOR THOSE WHO HATE YOU, NOT THOSE WHO LOVE YOU. Why?? Because i am not giving them the satisfaction. I want to prove them wrong. You think i have no breathe left?? You are wrong. I have one more breathe left and i am crawling and getting back up on my feet and fight. Even though you are tired to fight, fight for your kids and hang in there. Trust me. Things will get better. It will.