enough

I am sick of crying every day!  big people don’t cry, right?  Sick of it !!! Tired of all the BS. I really want to go on with my life I really do but something is always at the heart,  major issue!!!!  I have thought about suicide since I was a child and being molested by both parents….took my virginity…thanks Dad. I know, no one wants to hear about sexual & mental abuse, too uncomfortable, oh well, its out there every day !!!! The stats are highly under reported and disgusting.  I moved to this apartment because there is a garage and that is a really easy way to go – I think.  I have also been collecting OTC allergy and cold pills.  I figure combine that with a little alcohol and a little co2 should be a sure thing. I have tried a few times but never enough or backed out, and then I always think I could wind up worse with my luck.  Then you hear about all these success, I can do it too!!!!!