This is my middle part of the story of how I started being suicidal….
So, After A few years, like.. about more years? Yeah. Well, I was ten and I started listening to new metal.. like Pierce The Veil (PTV), Sleeping With Sirens (SWS), Blood On The Dance Floor (BOTDF), Falling In Reverse (FIR) And Etc.
Yeah, and well the only reason why I was listening to that kind of music was because I got tortured by everyone around me… Even the people I loved…… My sister, My mom, My dad, And Even my “Friends”.. When I realized they never loved me, I started cutting and I didn’t think I was that young.. If you were ever ten years old in your life, you wouldn’t feel so young or so old either.. But that’s not really the point in my ‘Story’. No one… and I mean no one would or will ever EVER understand my $%&*@!* life.
I mean what’s the point in having a life if you don’t understand it?
What’s the point in having a life if your going to die in a few more years?
What’s the point exactly?
But yeah I started cutting and trying to commit suicide. My mom even admitted that she never loved and she continued to say that everyday, and on the other hand, my sister even said she hates me… if you don’t realize that hate is a strong word then know you know.. and when she said that it hurt so much and when I tied a hangman’s Noose on a long wire and hooked it on a firm hook.. she didn’t care all she did was watch but I stopped myself because of the pain… I was afraid, also my dad I thought he was nice but when my mom hit me and started abusing me and using me as a slave, all my dad did was Nothing NOTHING…. nothing at all. He just sat there like I was A ghost and like I wasn’t born.. OR alive! He doesn’t talk to me or anyone else.. and my friends they talk *!%$ behind my back when I’m not around.. I thought it over of what I did to my friends and when I started blaming myself, I finally realized I didn’t do nothing.. nothing at all. I now know, every single person I know is fake.. I also met a few therapist online and I had a felling they were pretending to care they even said that… and i’m talking about all of them. I even hate myself because of all this!
So.. yeah that’s why I started cutting.. I started to be suicidal.
Well, that’s another part of my shitty life.
My Real Story.
– I’m Anonymous.
1 comment
Okay wow, that is just really fucking shitty man. I am so sorry. I wish there was something I could do!
I can’t tell you the point of in having a life if you don’t understand it, but that question reminds me of these lyrics from a Twenty-One Pilots song:
“Are you searching for purpose?
Then write something, yeah it might be worthless
Then paint something then, it might be wordless
Pointless curses, nonsense verses
You’ll see purpose start to surface
No one else is dealing with your demons
Meaning maybe defeating them
Could be the beginning of your meaning, friend.”
Maybe they’ll help. They helped me. The song’s called “Kitchen Sink” by the way.
Concerning abuse- you should fucking fight that ***** back. Don’t let anyone hit you and get away with it. Man I am so sorry dude, reading your story just makes me so pissed off and upset.
You should check out Twenty-One Pilots and My Chemical Romance btw. They’re pretty cool, you might like them.
Also, you shouldn’t hate yourself. You just have really shitty luck. It’s not your fault. All those motherfuckers should just go to Hell. You’re the victim here.
Anyway, keep fighting,
And stay the fuck alive,
XOXO
G