I woke up last night at exactly 0249hrs — the exact moment that the figure of beauty you see in front of you decided to call me after six months of no contact. I’m not going into specifics because right now I’m fucking tired and…for the first time since she died, I’ve decided to read what the news sites etc had to say about the events surrounding her death.
My point stands — it was no accident, and she knew what she’d gotten herself in to.
She wasn’t an idiot, but we can all be stupid at times. Especially to compromise herself in such a way with…a deranged fuckin’ creep… Taunting a woman who only wanted to go home and locking her on the balcony?! He is sick, and any man who sees women purely as conquests and/or objects of desire needs to have their face peeled back and slowly retreaded by a 70 tonne tank.
Not many people can truly attest to the wonderful soul that she was, and I’m eternally grateful for the friendship that I did share with her. Had I known she was on the GC — I’d have been there in a tickle.
Because, sadly…I have a family member who stays in that very same apartment block and was just clocking off her shift the night those tragic events went down…and if I was there, my leg was good and some ************ dared threaten my friend like that..?! I would’ve done a whole lot of sick shit to that **** face ************, that’s what… And I know some very colourful ways to redecorate an interior using human organs thanks to my time in the service.
I’m never going to forget you, W. I never did to begin with, but like I said — you’re the one who got the ball rolling to begin with, so I needed you to throw it back in so we could get back to business.
…I’m just glad you didn’t forget me. That’s all. I know I shouldn’t hurt like this as I never earned the right to; but I do. Anyway, I’m going to cry myself to fuckin’ sleep now…dreaming of the day I get to take to that fuckwit with my fighting knife and tear his meatsuit back like he were road kill and I was one hungry motherfuckin’ wanderer.
W — you know I didn’t mean what I said for that split second, which is why you let me explain myself for six months, yeah? I accept that you’re gone now. I just wish you didn’t have to take a violent exit like my father did.
You will hold the distinction as the first woman to ever bring me to tears when you spoke to me on that fateful Waitangi evening. I know you said that “…it means you have a heart”, but the truth is I’d never felt a connection like the one I had with you that night in my life before. As it stands, and always will stand — I will never feel it again.
My last and solemn promise to you is that I will visit your grave and pay my last respects before hopefully seeing you again once I punch my own ticket. I’m not sure what kind of flowers you’d like, but I’ll leave you my grenade pin necklace and I will salute you as a soldier when I leave your grave site. Not just any civilian is ever afforded such an honour, but you sure as Sherlock deserve it.
Damn you, W… I’m fucking crying now… And…I know you didn’t want to believe me because why would anyone begin to…but I did love you. I do love you.
I will always love you, my dear friend. And you owe me a fuckin’ drink if I ever see you again!!!