Well. I’m afraid I’m going to lose a friend to suicide, no matter how hard I tried to make him see otherwise. It’s ultimately his choice. And I’m not gonna force him to change. But the more I think about why I’m still here myself, is I just don’t have the damn luxury to commit suicide like some of the lucky people do. I just don’t have the luxury. I have too many people to take care of. And if I didn’t have one scrap of love for them, then I’d say fuck off and then hang myself like I always think about. But I can’t because I still have heart for those I love. So I suggest to anyone who has love for someone, or multiple persons, hang on to that, because they may need you more then you believe.

End rant. I’m just so numb. Feel like the biggest failure of a friend.